


New Beginnings

by ComprehensiveElk4389



Category: Lovelink - Fandom
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-17
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:42:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 29,679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27607795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ComprehensiveElk4389/pseuds/ComprehensiveElk4389
Summary: I’m British, I apologise, so Garrett and MC are too but uncharacteristically for Brits they don’t end their texts with a kiss (it took all my will power!) I tried to keep MC neutral and obviously write from my own experience so have given them a job I can write about. Also, sorry it’s dialogue heavy. But, you know. I wrote it in notes on my phone....!
Comments: 3
Kudos: 80





	1. New Beginnings

**Author's Note:**

> I’m British, I apologise, so Garrett and MC are too but uncharacteristically for Brits they don’t end their texts with a kiss (it took all my will power!) I tried to keep MC neutral and obviously write from my own experience so have given them a job I can write about. Also, sorry it’s dialogue heavy. But, you know. I wrote it in notes on my phone....!

The house was quiet, too quiet. With Amy at her grandparents the house felt too big, too empty, too dark. 

He taps out a quick message..

*Everything ok? Bedtime a success?*

They’d only FaceTimed good night an hour ago but it felt like an age.

***All good, tucked in, fast asleep! Don’t worry about us. Put your feet up you deserve it!***

He puts down the phone and looks around the kitchen, he opens the fridge and stares in for a moment. 

‘Take away’ he says aloud before shutting the door again and grabbing his phone to order steak ramen from a chain restaurant, he rolls his eyes at the voice in his head who reminds him that he could make it better himself.

He chuckles sadly and says aloud, ‘not worth it for just me.’

While waiting for his food he picks up a few scattered toys and puts them back in their places. Organises a couple of piles of sparkly art work on the dining table into a neat pile and brushes some loose glitter into his hand. 

After depositing it into the bin he absent mindedly rubs his hands on his trousers. 

Wine. It’s Friday night after all. He grabs a bottle and goes to the glass cabinet before looking around for the bottle opener. When he turns back to the bottle he sees 2 glasses set out and feels a burn rise in the back of his throat. He gently places the bottle opener down on the counter and goes to the fridge to grab a beer before returning to the living room and slumping down on the sofa.

He puts the bottle down on the coffee table and covers his face with his hands.

‘FUCK’ he shouts in time with the doorbell.

Rubbing at his eyes he makes his way to the door to collect his food. Taking his food and handing over the tip he notices a quizzical look on the drivers face.

‘You got company tonight?’

‘No, why?’

The driver nods in the direction of his trousers he notices now are glittering in the hall light.

Garrett furrows his brow, ‘Oh just, I was cleaning up must have just’

The driver winks and turns away, ‘Cheers mate, have a good one!’

Garrett turns after closing the door and pauses for a moment and thinks to himself...

....’glitter on my trousers.... why would that mean I had company?’

............................................................

‘Could they have been any worse? They said... I can’t respect anyone who works in retail because they’re not living up to their potential.... and said it.... to my face!’

‘To. Your. Face!’

‘And still expected me to go home with them!?’

You’re sat crossed legged on your sofa eating breakfast going over your disastrous double date from the night before with your partner in crime and fellow date sufferer. 

It feels like a Saturday morning ritual for the pair of you recently.

‘It’s not us, it’s definitely them. It’s like they say people should come with a 30 second trailer so we know what we’re getting into.’

‘Exactly. Look ‘travelled for your gap year and found yourself’ maybe you should travel again and find someone else because this you is pretty shitty.’

You both laugh as you collect your plates and head for the sink, you flick on the kettle and set up 2 mugs for coffee. 

You glance over at your phone and see a text from last nights date.

***Had so much fun would love to see you again. Are you free tomorrow?***

You swipe away the notification and look up to see your friend engrossed in their phone.

‘Come and look at this! Quick! New matches on Lovelink!’

Here we go again! You think pouring coffee and making your way back over to the phone held up to your face.

Looking back at your is a gorgeous, tattooed guy with a devil emoji in their bio.

‘Catfish.’ You say definitively. ‘He looks like the first Google result you’d get for ‘hot tattooed guy’ pass.’

‘Suit yourself, I’m swiping right for my Mr Right now. Come on. Swipe yourself a little happy!’

The last year of dreadful dates has left you feeling exhausted. From one extreme to another, priceless art works turning up on your doorstep to last nights performance. It has been a red flag parade. It’s time for a break.

You wonder if you’re not looking in the right places, putting out the wrong vibes. No. It’s not me, never be ashamed to not compromise on what’s important. 

....................................................................

He’s sitting getting a smoothie after a bike ride with his friend Robbie talking over the previous evening.

‘I need to do something. I can’t dread Amy not being around I need someone, even just to talk about work too.’

Robbie punches him in the arm, ‘You know you’ve always got me mate. I’m always around to discuss your latest find that proves that.....’ a snoring noise follows the dropped sentence.

He laughs into his smoothie, ‘I hate you. And this is my point. Would you like me to text you at 2am to discuss my latest discovery? Do you like Sunday cuddles in bed?’

Robbie looks down at himself, ‘I am pretty cuddly. I make a good little spoon.’ He shrugs, ‘Not sure how the missus would feel about it but....’

They both laugh.

Robbie face becomes full of concern, ‘I know what you mean mate, I get it. What do you want to do? I’m a bit out of touch with the dating scene.’

Garrett turns his phone towards Robbie to show him the app he downloaded last night after a couple of beers, ‘Lovelink: Meet your dream match just a swipe away!’

‘Some of the guys at work have been talking about it, it’s like Tinder but better, somehow I dunno.....’ he trails off.

‘So you’re serious about meeting someone?’

Garrett looks down at his hands and takes a deep breath, ‘Could you help me chose a profile picture? God I sound ridiculous.’

Robbie laughs and starts to scroll through his photos. He critiques a few, too try hard.... too museumy looking then with a laugh he turns the phone back to present, ‘This one. This is so you.’

Garrett looks back at the picture, ‘You don’t think the pancakes are a bit much?’

‘Too late. It’s done. I’d swipe right. Ok. Here are some matches! Wow. Are you sure you’re ready for this?’

Garrett shifts in his chair, now or never, ‘As I’ll ever be. I want to see a future with someone. Make plans again. Put faith in something. I can’t just live day by day worrying.’

Robbie seems taken aback, ‘Wow. You’re serious. I don’t know whether you want to lead with full on commitment though it might scare people off. Don’t you want to just test the water? Get some practise.’

Garrett shrugs, ‘If they’re for me it won’t scare them off. I’m not a practise kind of guy. I’m not going to compromise on what’s important.’


	2. A Guide to Modern Dating

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Garrett gets an introduction to online dating.....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I returned to work on Tuesday after isolating for 14 days and they asked what I’d been up to. Mostly this. And Reddit.

‘Jim or Roy?’ 

You’re watching The Office for the millionth time. And for the millionth time your friend asks, ‘Come on, it’s got to be one, Jim or Roy?’

‘Roy with a beard with Jim’s personality.’

‘How can you say that? John Kransinski is hot....’ your friend says into their phone half distracted.

‘Yes but we’re talking about Jim here, a fictional character not John.... what are you looking at?’

Your friend puts their phone up to your face, ‘Is that Chris Evans?’ 

You take their phone in both hands and take a closer look. The face looking back at you definitely has the look of Chris Evans about him. ‘What on earth would he be doing on an app for normal people?’ You quickly swipe right and hand the phone back, ‘Ask him yourself!’ You laugh.

Your own phone pings another notification...

***Want to see what you missed out on last night?***

Followed quickly by another text tone. An image. 

You roll your eyes, ‘I’m swearing off dating. I’m done with it. Can you bleach your phone? If there’s a limit to how many pictures of genitals you can see I think I just reached it.’

‘Oh wow.... I wouldn’t speak too soon. Oh boy.’

Your friend grabs for your phone just before you can get hold of it, opening Lovelink and indiscriminately swipes left through countless profiles until they reach what they’re looking for and hand it back to you.

‘I’m swiping left, I’ll leave this one for you. The Catfish has just messaged me and said I’m sexy, I think I’m going to take this home.’ They wink and start to collect their things. 

‘See you later.’ You hear the front door close and you look at your phone and your heart flutters. 

The first thing that strikes you is the smile and the kind eyes. Pancakes! 

.................................................................

Garrett and Robbie are still nursing their now warm smoothies staring intently at Garretts phone and the beautiful faces therein. 

‘That ones a definite yes’ Robbie says swiping right. Garrett gives him a look, ‘What? If I’m going to have to get to know these people I at least get a bit of a say surely?’

‘I don’t know do they look like they’d be good around Amy?’

‘Don’t overthink it. Don’t judge a book by it’s cover.... just oooh definitely them’ Robbie swipes again. 

Garrett blushes red and fidgets with his hands subconsciously rubbing his finger where his ring used to be. 

It’s ok, it’s ok, he calms himself. His phone starts to chime as his matches come in. 

‘Ok, I think I overdid it a bit mate you’ve got about 20 matches,’ he looks over and raises his eyebrows, ‘Nothing ventured?’

Garrett takes his phone and swallows hard before opening the first chat....

***Hello Daddy.... 🍆💦***

He points the phone back toward Robbie who pulls a confused face.

He opens a second....

***🥵🥵 I’ve been naughty Daddy***

This is not what he expected, ‘Since when do people call each other Daddy? Is that a new thing? An aubergine? What the hell is all this!?’

Robbie looks at Garrett, masking his look of shock with a shrug and a shake of the head.

Together they scroll through the messages until they land on one starting with a simple 

***Hey!***

Ok, this was neutral ground he can do this...

*Hey! How are you? I’m sorry I’m pretty new to all this....!*

***No problem! We all start somewhere! What brings you to online dating?***

*Well, I’m a....

...his fingers fumble over the letters as he starts to type out...

...widow, I am just starting to get myself back out there. I have an 8 year old daughter so haven’t had a lot of opportunity until now 😊*

He waits for a reply. The three dots start and stop a couple of times and then.

‘They’ve unmatched me? What does that mean?’

‘Mate, fuck it. Next....’

....................................................................

You think the best thing to do is clear your head. Most of the afternoon has been spent avoiding opening increasingly desperate texts from last nights date so they wouldn’t know you’d read them.

The mature thing would be to reply and let them know their services were no longer required but you just don’t have the energy.

Anyway, they think you’re working today so that’s the perfect excuse. 

You get ready for your bike ride, hopefully the fresh air will blow away some of the negativity. As you ride a face keeps popping into your head. The smile, the eyes. The adorable pancakes and apron. 

You hadn’t swiped the match yet. You weren’t quite sure what to do. At this moment they could be anything you wanted them to be. Swiping them might just confirm your darkest worry. Another dick head. He looked perfect. Dream man potential. The thought erupted a flight of butterflies in your stomach. Shit, you haven’t even spoken to him yet and he’s all you can think about.

You’ll do it later. Another 30  
minutes and you’ll head home.

..............................................................

Both a little shocked and confused Garrett and Robbie make their ways home. Robbie relieved that he didn’t have to decipher the hieroglyphics of modern flirting and Garrett wondering if he’d made a mistake.

It’s all a bit intimidating, the messages were so forward, people are so confident! He reasoned it’s because they’re behind a screen. He couldn’t imagine people spoke that way face to face. If that was the case he was in deep water without a float.

He let his shyness get the better of him plenty of times when he was younger but had worked hard to overcome it as an adult but this experience brought up those anxious feelings he’d almost forgotten. 

He checks his phone quickly before getting in the shower. A few conversations felt like they were going well after a faltered start but nothing gave him butterflies. He wasn’t excited to see their message on the screen and felt guilty. Even though a few people had unmatched him soon after discovering he was a Dad and a widow he couldn’t bring himself to unmatch with them. 

Maybe they’ll grow on me? Maybe this takes time - you get to know them and the feelings kinda.... develop.

Ducking his head into the stream of the shower he remembered the feeling of seeing his wife for the first time. He knew instantly he wanted to know everything about her, to hold her, to kiss her, to share everything with her.

Would he ever feel that again? At that an unwanted feeling started to rush through his body and he turned the dial of the shower to cold.

.....................................................................

You step out of the shower, wrap a towel around yourself and grab a protein shake. The ride had made you feel a million times better. 

Sitting on the edge of your bed you grab your phone and quickly bash out a text...

*Sorry I’ve had a hell of a day. Thank you for last night but I don’t think it’s going to work between us. It’s been great getting to know you. Good luck.*

You hold your breath and wait for a nasty reply. None comes. You sigh, ‘That’s that then.’ 

Just as you start to get dressed into something comfortable a text arrives. You tense and squint at the screen with one eye closed.

***CHECK THIS OUT! CATFISH SAYS I’D BE THE PEACH!’***

A picture arrives of a naked man laid out on a bed holding a peach to his lips.

*Are you the whole peach or is he trying to be specific?*

***Thats your response? Look at this man! Look at that body. I’m in heaven!***

*Tell him he’ll have to write his name on you so everyone knows you’re his.*

***I think he’s got better things to do then remember Netflix references, loser. I bet he goes to really cool bars and does sexy things with other sexy people.***

*You do you, I’ve got some work to do. Update me later.*

***What do you think I’m doing 💦💦💦💦***

Eurgh, you shudder and throw your phone down. Too much information. You grab your laptop and start working on figures for a presentation on Monday. Deep joy.

............................................................

Garrett jumps out of the shower and roughly dries his hair and beard and checks himself in the mirror. He runs his fingers through both and gives them a tug before wrapping a towel around himself.

Leaving the bathroom he flops down onto his bed and checks his phone. He replies to a couple of messages almost identically

*Just in from a bike ride and had a shower. How are you doing?*

*Yea, just out of the shower. Went for a bike ride with my mate Robbie.*

He pulls his laptop up onto the bed and boots it up and opens the word document that contains the start of a book on Ancient Greece documenting his research and he starts to scan the last few paragraphs he’d added.

Looking back at his phone he has several messages that are different variations of

***Pic for pic 🍆 ?***

The aubergine again. This has got to mean something he doesn’t get. 

*Pic of what, sorry?*

The next message is a simply states

***Like this 💦***

Followed by the image of a very naked person.

Garretts face flushes red. Oh my... he laughs nervously out loud and looks down at himself. He opens the camera on his phone and tugs his towel open. Holding the phone up he tries angling the phone to get all of himself in. 

‘What facial expression do you pull!?’ He smiles then cringes thinking he looks too pleased with himself. He tries to pull a sexy face and that looks worse.

He resolves not to have his face in it at all. He tenses his abs and snaps the pic. 

‘I can’t believe I just did that!’ He laughs and looks at the picture. He feels ridiculous but tries to work up the nerve to send it. It’s just a stranger on the internet.... but what if they send it to someone and then someone at work finds out or someone at the school. 

‘I can’t do it. I can’t do it.’ He deletes the picture and covers himself with the towel again.

*Oh, thank you. But I won’t send one of myself sorry it’s not really my thing.*

Another unmatch.

This isn’t working out quite as he hoped. A notification pops up, ‘All your matches are offline for now. Why not try to find another?’

Why not? Maybe if he takes his time, read their bios first, he reasons he’ll have better luck.... hang on is that Chris Evans?

‘I can’t compete with that!’ he laughs and swipes left, a few more left swipes, too young, not my type, few too many emojis in their bio.

‘Wow’ he breathes out slowly and raises himself up onto his elbow. Your photo fills the screen. 

He pulls his towel around him tighter to try and look more presentable.

There is was, the feeling. He feels his face flush and his stomach twist. It’s just a photo, it’s just a photo. 

He takes a screen shot and zooms in to the background of the picture. Where are you? Is that your house or your work? He wonders what you do. Is that a picture on the wall? 

Is this creepy? It’s probably creepy. He zooms out again and looks at your face. Your eyes, your smile and can’t help but smile himself. He quickly deletes the picture and returns to the app, after a deep breath he swipes right, excited waiting for the screen to show you’ve matched.

Nothing happens. Why didn’t anything happen? 

He scours the FAQs - some matches will only be available if they match with you too.

He runs a hand through his hair, they don’t like me? No! That’s not fair! 

Don’t worry though! They may not have seen your profile yet. We’ll make sure they get a chance to match with you if they haven’t yet!

Enough Lovelink for today he thinks and puts it to one side. This is exhausting! He thinks as he dresses and turns his attention to his laptop 

The recent rediscovery, of a scroll that appears to show references to.....

A text tone sounds and his stomach flips. He grabs for the phone to see an image.

His daughters bright smile holding up a drawing of them both with the caption 

***Love you, miss you!***

His heart fills with warmth and replies 

*Love you too, see you tomorrow Princess*

He wraps his arms around himself and thinks just how lucky he is. With that boost he powers on through the afternoon writing.

....................................................................

You shut your laptop and rub your eyes. Too much screen time. Streams of numbers dance in front of you, a whole presentation to justify your margin performance for the year. 

Your passion for numbers buoys you through a lot of the tediousness of your job but at the end of the day you followed the money and not your dreams.

‘Let’s not have an existential crisis tonight,’ you say to yourself and grab some left over take away from the fridge and settle down to eat. 

***Update: not Chris Evans. He says he gets that all the time. How’s it going with Hot Pancakes?***

*There’s certainly worse problems to have, tell him you need clarification of whether he would be mistaken for America’s Ass too. And I haven’t swiped yet. I’ve been too busy.*

***TOO BUSY!? For him!? You’ll be gutted if you’ve wasted time and he’s off the market. Hotties like that don’t stick around long.***

A picture text follows, a screen shot of his profile with the caption....

***Swipe me.... swipe me....!***

You fire off a couple of middle finger emojis. 

*I’m going to bed. Good night.*

You dress for bed and get comfy. You pull up the picture of Garrett and study it. That kitchen looks unreal. You zoom in on the windows and try to see the garden. 

His face gives you butterflies, you stare a little too long at his lips and imagine what they feel like, taste like. You lick your own lips and embrace the tingle that washes over you as you imagine them working their way down your neck from your jaw to your collarbone. 

You can imagine tangling your hands in the back of his hair and pulling him into a passionate kiss against the kitchen counter. You imagine he smells amazing, manly and outdoorsy. 

You haven’t felt this turned on by the idea of someone in a long time.

A cold shower isn’t going to work for this one, you slide further under the covers and take matters into your own hands.


	3. Right Swipe

Garrett is up and dressed, waiting for Amy to be dropped off. He hasn’t allowed himself to fully think about how much he’d missed her but as the time ticked closer to her coming home he could hardly wait.

He’d picked up all her favourite foods, including some treats and set up her princess tent in the living room. He had her favourite movies ready to play and probably a little too much popcorn. Garrett the Dad, that’s who he is. He smiles at his creation. 

When the doorbell rings he launches himself at the door, almost rugby tackled to the ground by the ball of energy that burst through on opening. 

He picks Amy up high and spins her around ‘I’ve missed you!’ 

‘I got you something!’ Amy grins.

Her grandmother holds out a T-shirt that says ‘Worlds Best Dad’ 

‘That’s me and you! Look! It has a football on it for you and hearts and sparkles on it for me!’

‘I love it!’ He laughs as he pulls it on. ‘I’m going to wear it all day!’

He turns to his mother in law and thanks her. She tells him he looks well and gives him a hug. ‘She’s so like her’ she sighs and ruffles Amy’s hair, ‘And a credit to you.’

She squeezes his arm and blows some kisses as she leaves.

‘Wow!!’ An excited cry comes from the living room, ‘This. Is. Awesome!!’ 

They both settle into the tent and chose a film, tucking into the popcorn.

...................................................................

The morning at work whizzes past. Filtering out panicked emails about whether or not you will achieve budget this week. Who’s there? What’s happening on the floor? 

It’s Sunday, why aren’t people at home. In bed. Trying to keep Monday at bay for as long as possible. 

You push back from your desk and stand to stretch. Coffee. Proper coffee. 

You wave to your number 2 in your code of just popping out, grab your coat and make your way out into the cold. The shop is kept toasty to make the customer feel comfortable and more likely to fall in love with your products and or the sales person and part with their money. It certainly makes a difference when you step outside.

You pick up your pace as you cross to the coffee shop, as you enter the barista catches your eye and raises a thumbs up. You nod and they get your order on the go. Being predictable has some perks. You grab a veggie wrap and make your way to pay. You cup your coffee between your hands and give a grateful thank you as you breathe in your sweet coffee smell.

You find a quiet corner table and lay everything out in front of you. You take a sip of your coffee and feel it work it’s magic from the top of your head to the tips of your toes.

With that feeling in mind you pick up your phone and open Lovelink, swiping right on the beautiful man on your screen.

..............................................................

Garrett is in the kitchen putting together some snacks and his phone alert sounds. He looks over his shoulder to see what it is.

*You have a new Match!*

A mixture of panic and excitement fills him, he grabs his phone and opens the notification... oh my god oh my god! It’s them it’s them!

*Hey!*

He types out without even thinking he might seem a bit keen...

***Hi 🙂***

.............................................................

You’re so excited to message you don’t even think to wonder how quickly he messaged nor how quick you were to reply.

*I’m so excited we matched 👍🏻*

That explains it....!

***Me too! You’re exactly my type 🌶***

Oh dear was that a little too full on this early!?

*I’m glad! Wait... What’s your type?*

You laugh and smile broadly. Wow he’s cute! 

***I have a weakness for bearded guys 😎***

*Well then I’ve got you covered*

‘You don’t even know what I’d like you to cover Mr!!’ you think to yourself.

You text back an forth a little more before he says...

*I hope you take a chance because you are so ravishing!*

You snort into your coffee, oh my! Ravishing! Wow. That’s better than anything you’ve been called, fit, yes. Hot. Maybe. Ravishing! Your heart flutters.

***I’ve never been called that before 😍***

*I take that back 😬 I meant beautiful!!!*

Oh don’t apologise you beautiful man. Call me ravishing again!!

....................................................................

‘Daaaaaaad!’

Garrett is flustered and red faced. Why the hell did he just say ravishing!? 

‘I’ll be there in just a second honey!’ He calls from the kitchen. 

On the plus side they didn’t react badly. Did he get away with it?

*I don’t know why I’m suddenly talking like a grandpa? 😂 When is the last time anyone said ravishing? 🤭*

***You’re bringing it back! I thought it was really sweet!***

Phew. He brings the snacks through to Amy sitting at the dining table. ‘Are you ok there for a bit sweetie? I’m just going to use my phone for 5 minutes,’ she nods and he returns to the kitchen.

***Out of curiosity, when was the last time you flirted?***

*It’s been years 😯*

He hesitates. He doesn’t want the conversation to end he’s having so much fun but he wants to be honest.

*...I’m a single dad... and I’ve been focused on raising my 8-year-old, Amy! 🙏 she’s my world. If you think that’s too much baggage, I get it.*

He crosses his fingers and watches the 3 dots dancing.

***I don’t think of a kid as baggage. I think it’s really cool you’re a dad!***

He punches the air. 

......................................................................

You message back and forth getting to know each other better. Music, food, drinks. 

***I like to eat healthy!***

Not an out and out fib you think with a bite of your veggie wrap even as your mind slips back to the empty take away containers in your bin. 

It’s the weekend, you’re allowed!

*🍆*

You almost choke on your lunch. Did you miss something!?

***Haha! Do you actually mean aubergine or something else?***

*Of course! What do you mean?*

***You’re the cutest ☺️***

You text a little longer before checking your watch. You really should be getting back but you’re having too much fun. As if reading your mind Garrett messages...

*I’m having so much fun! Really! But I have to help Amy with her dance recital she has coming up!*

You’re disappointed but thankful that you didn’t have to break the conversation. 

***OMG that sounds so much fun!***

*Haha let’s get into this next time we talk! Which I’m counting down the seconds to!*

***Me too 😘***

*Bye!*

Even his sign off is adorable. You clear your table, pull on your coat and float back to work.

..................................................................

Garrett puts his phone down and leans against the kitchen counter, gripping the edge.

This is great, he feels great. He stands up straight and runs his hands over his chest.

He feels as if he’s waiting for something. A feeling to bubble up. Guilt? Does he feel guilty? He looks towards the ceiling and shrugs. ‘I really like them,’ he thinks aloud.


	4. Working Things Out

You’re stood waiting to join the meeting you’ve prepared your presentation for making small talk with your peers.

In one hand you have a croissant that has seen better days and in the other a vending machine coffee in a plastic cup which tastes awful but will have to do in lieu of anything else.

You want to message Garrett to tell him about the presentation. You wrote and deleted the message a couple of times before leaving but thought it was ridiculous. You’d only spoken once so far and he’s probably really busy.

But nothing beats a good morning text, or a good luck text, or a have a great day text. 

He probably wouldn’t be interested in this stuff anyway. You put down your coffee and check your pockets for your USB for the hundredth time. 

..................................................................

‘You’re a million miles away this morning,  
are you ok?’ Garrett feels a gentle hand on his back.

He doesn’t know how long he has been lost in thought. ‘I’m sorry, I’m great thank you. Perfect in fact!’ He smiles warmly, ‘How are you this morning?’ 

Emma was another curator at the museum, she’d seen him at his best and his worst over the last few years and had been a reliable constant when everything went.... well. Everything went.

‘Stressed, under caffeinated, Monday.  
You get it. As long as you’re ok buddy.’ She turns to leave.

‘So I did a thing....’ he starts.

‘A thing?’ She turns with a quizzical look on her face. ‘What are we talking here?’

‘I joined a dating site, and I think, no I know I really like someone I’ve spoken to.’

He can tell by her face she’s not sure how to react, ‘And how do you feel about it?’ She says slowly.

‘Great, fantastic, excited!’ He says with a broad smile on his face. 

Her face brightens and she grabs hold of his forearms, ‘Garrett that’s amazing! I’m so happy for you!’

‘I’m happy for me too!’ It’s almost as if sharing the news has made it twice as exciting, ‘There’s just one problem...’

Emma’s face falls to a look of concern, ‘What is it? Do they live too far? Have you not told them about Amy? Do they not like children?’

Garrett laughs softly, ‘Oh nothing like that! I’ve told them about Amy and it’s no big deal. They love museums which is great. No, the problem is, I don’t know whether it’s too soon to send them a, sort of. Good morning, have a good day, thinking of you... message.’

‘Well, how long have you been talking?’

‘Erm. Once. Yesterday.’

Emma looks a bit confused. ‘Once?’

‘Yes?’

She rubs his arm, ‘You’re so sweet Garrett. Maybe it is a bit soon. Make sure you protect your heart, don’t rush. If it feels right do it. If it makes you uncomfortable, take a breath, there’s always tomorrow.’

‘Thank you,’ he pats his phone in his back pocket. 

‘Come on, you’ve got work to do,’ Emma calls over her shoulder as she walks away, ‘Rome wasn’t built in a day,’ Emma spins and points finger guns. 

....................................................................

You finish your presentation and your manager opens the floor up to questions. As is customary someone questions something you had covered but you take the time to clarify. 

When there appears to be no more questions your manager speaks up, ‘Those are some impressive numbers, I think we can all agree,’ he looks around the table. Most nod, some begrudgingly. 

‘But I have a question. How do you do it?’

You shake your head not quite sure what he means. ‘How do I do what?’

‘It. That.’ He gestures to the PowerPoint behind you. 

‘Well I make sure that people are aware of....’

He cuts you off mid sentence. ‘Don’t give me business speak. I want to know how YOU do it.’

‘Erm. Well. I don’t know, I think I...’ you feel your face getting hot and your hands shake.

‘You do know. So tell us.’

You take a deep breath and think honestly. Deep down. 

‘I allow people to be who they are. I encourage their positives and talents. I’d never make them feel bad for what they don’t know or what they’re interested in. Their magic, their strength, their talent is valid and worth encouraging. That’s how we ALL grow by being shown things the way other people see them.’

You’re not sure whether you spoke too much, but it was from the heart. You can’t help but think of Garrett. The way he misused the aubergine emoji, how he called you ravishing! It could almost make you cry to think someone could have been mean to him. How brave he is to put himself out there. You are so glad you found each other.

You return to your seat and pull out your phone, as if he’d read your mind there he is...

***Hey!***

You can’t remember the last time you were this excited to get a text and you find it difficult to keep the smile from your face.

You’ve got to drive home so you wait to reply, but the journey feels twice as long.

..................................................................

Garrett sits with a coffee, taking a break. It’s been a tough day. A temporary exhibition is coming up at the museum. It’s going to be a mixture of museum and modern art pieces. 

Religious artefacts from pilgrimages across the ages. It has involved pulling out archive references and locating pieces that haven’t seen day light in several years. Each item handled with care unpacked, repacked. 

The work itself wasn’t hard, it was having so many new people in his space. It takes him a while to get used to new people, to know what to say. He felt a little out of the loop, with music or films, or emojis.... apparently.

It was great when they had children. That was always a great conversation starter. 

He stares into his coffee as a few people join his table. ‘Hey Garrett!’ 

‘Hey guys!’ It was some of the museum assistants, they sat and immediately pulled their phones out. One started excitingly chatting about their new Lovelink match. 

‘Have any of you spoken to Cpt Muffin?’ 

‘Is that an actual cat!?’

Garrett looks up quizzically, ‘There’s a cat on a dating site? Hang on. Are we talking about an actual cat or is this one of those meme things?’

‘It’s an actual cat! At least. It’s someone typing as a cat. It’s adorable. I love him.’

They start to squabble over who can match with him next. Garrett laughs and stands up from the table. ‘Have fun guys.’ He salutes and walks away. 

He takes a quick look at his phone. He can only think of one match...

Decisively he opens his messages and unmatches with all but one.

*Hey!*

He quickly types. 

‘Sorry, Garrett? We need your help with a few of these references we can’t seem to find the items listed.’

He stuffs his phone back in his pocket, ‘Cool, sure. I’m right with you.’


	5. Chapter 5

You’ve arrived home and rid yourself of your work clothes. As tempted as you are to crawl straight into bed you fix yourself some food and sit to eat.

Before your first bite you pull your phone out to reply to Garrett...

*Hey! What’s up? 🙂*

***I can’t stop thinking about you 🤭***

Your stomach does a little flip and you smile to yourself.

*I can’t stop thinking about you too! 🙂*

***So we’re both crushing then?***

Wow, when was the last time you had a crush. You hug your arms around yourself. The message feels like a warm blanket wrapped around you.

*Yes, I most definitely think so ☺️*

You start to wonder what it would be like if he was there with you now, to cuddle into

***You’re the first person to really captivate me since....***

You wait for the 3 dots to dance again. It takes a little while.

***...since Amy’s mum passed.***

Oh. 

You sit and look at the message for a moment. You feel several emotions at once. You feel so sad for Garrett and oh, poor Amy she’s so small. You want to gather them both up in a hug.

*I’m so sorry....*

You feel you should say more, but just don’t know what.

*...I don’t know what to say*

..................................................................

***I’m sorry I didn’t mean to make this awkward I wanted you to know and didn’t know how to bring it up.***

Garrett feels a mixture of hesitation and relief. Relief that it was out in the open but hesitant..... worried they would freak out. Worried they’d want to know more. 

He wasn’t ready to share details. That was definitely something he wanted to keep safe with himself.

*Don’t apologise! Thank you for sharing.*

He felt as if he had cleared a hurdle, he felt confident in his need for honesty as he continues...

***It’s just that, I really am. How do I put it? Captivated, by you, and I wanted you to know. So we’re on the same page.***

Garrett feels that this really could be something, and it’s better to be as up front as possible. At this point, what was there to lose? 

*I feel just as captivated 😊 and that hasn’t changed. I just want you to know that if you feel you’re ready, we can go at your pace. No pressure, no expectations.*

He feels a warmth creep over him, a feeling of safety and reassurance. 

.................................................................

***I appreciate it, and don’t worry, I promise I’m totally ready to date again.***

As you read the words you hope they’re true, nothing to this point has made you think he would be anything but. But, you can’t help but understand the potential speed bumps to your relationship.

It makes you realise though, that you are willing to be there for him. To risk your heart for this sweet, beautiful man. 

***I mean it, I really appreciate you being so understanding about everything 🙏***

*You’re so cute, and sweet. Who wouldn’t give you a chance? ☺️*

I really like you Garrett, you want to send, but you worry that would be too much. 

***This really went from flirty to heavy real quick! If you do have any second thoughts... maybe this will put them to rest!***

Garrett sends a picture. It’s of him in what looks like a pink tent. Proudly wearing a Worlds Best Dad T-shirt. It’s adorable. But he also looks amazing. It’s him. 

You want to lighten the mood again so he knows nothing has changed.

*You are insanely gorgeous, you know that?*

***Thank you, you’re making me blush 😊***

You can imagine how cute he is when he blushes. Part of you wishes he was there, to hug or just hold. 

You take a self conscious look around you. Ok so maybe not here. You wouldn’t call your place homely, just a place to eat and sleep. You imagine Garretts place is a home. Warm and friendly like him.

You wish you were there, with him. 

................................................................

Garrett can’t stop from smiling, he catches a look at his reflection as he potters around the house while Amy does her homework, he’s blushing but he can’t help it. 

It felt good to feel... could he allow himself to think it? Sexy again. Maybe sexy is the wrong word. Attractive.... desirable, flirty. He was really enjoying these stolen moments of being Garrett the flirty man again rather than Garrett the dad.

Not that he was complaining, or would change it for the world he thought. He felt as if his batteries had been charged, in a different way then going for a bike ride, or climbing. 

*I want to know more about you...*

He couldn’t think of anything else he could share. Work and Amy were the most of it....

***Well, you know about my job and my family life, my hobbies. What else can I tell you about?***

*You did promise to tell me about Amy’s dance recital?*

That makes him happy, that you wanted to talk about Amy. He worried that maybe you would avoid talking about her, but you come as a package. 

***I am totally out of my element, this is something her mum would handle. Not only do I have to help her learn the dance but make a costume! And do hair and make up for a child!?***

*I did a lot of dance shows growing up, I can totally help if you need me x*

***Thank you! I could use a little, or maybe a lot of help!***

That’s a relief, even just to talk about feeling a bit overwhelmed by it all makes it all feel more manageable, like he has someone in his corner. 

He talks a little more, worried that he’s bragging but becoming aware that you both share a lot of interests.

*You’re super impressive, not only smart and gorgeous but cultured too!*

He starts to feel flirty again and tries to think of a suitable response when his two worlds collide almost on cue.

‘I’ve finished! All done, can we play now?’

He jumps away from his phone almost guiltily.

‘Ok honey, I did promise. What game would you like to play?’

Amy looks at him quizzically, ‘Why are you so smiley? You’re doing a funny smile?’

He wipes at his mouth and beard, ‘Where!? How did a funny smile get on my face!?’ He bends down toward her, ‘Did I get it! Is it gone?’ 

He pulls a silly face and Amy laughs and messes up his hair.

‘All gone!’ She cheers.

They hug each other before Amy says, ‘It wasn’t a silly face daddy you looked happy. I like when you look happy.’

Garrett wonders whether he should tell her about who he has been talking to, is she too small to know what it means. 

‘I’ve made a friend that I like very much. I was telling them about your dance recital and they said they could help if we need it.’

Amy looks thoughtful for a moment, ‘That’s very kind. You’re not as good at doing my hair as mummy. Maybe they can help with that?’

Garrett hugs Amy tightly, ‘That’s very true. So you’re ok with me having someone I like and maybe you will meet them some day?’

‘Are they cool? Because you’re not very cool.’

Garrett laughs, ‘Yes, I think they’re pretty cool. Cooler than me anyway.’

‘Well, if they make you smile and they make you cooler that’s ok with me. Anyway. I told you you needed someone to go out with because then I can go out with my friends and you won’t be lonely. Can we play now?’

Amy runs off to find a game and he sends a quick message.

***And I’m going to leave it on that high note, I have a very important game with Amy to attend to!***

*Have fun 😘 ttyl x*

***Bye!***

....................................................................

You put your phone down after Garrett logs off and it almost immediately rings. Your heart jumps a little thinking it might be him again but you remind yourself you haven’t exchanged numbers yet.

It’s your friend, you pick up and they immediately start...

‘I don’t want to sound like a spurned lover but I’m starting to feel like you’re ghosting me....’

Oh dear. You hadn’t even thought to speak to them these past couple of days.

‘I’m sorry, I’ve been....’

‘Yea, yea, work, work, bleh bleh, yawn.’

You sigh, ok so. You may use the work excuse often. It takes up so much of your time and energy, between that and trying to fit in exercise and attempt dating sometimes somethings got to give.

‘Actually, I’ve been talking to Garrett quite a bit, so I’m sorry I didn’t call or text.’

‘Garrett? Who’s... Oh! Please tell me everything. Wait, first, didn’t you have a work thing today? How did it go?’

Work feels a million years ago, ‘It went well, the usual though. Do you think it’s a pre requisite that the less of value you have to say the louder you have to say it?’

‘Yes. It’s a rule. Apply double when it’s a conspiracy theory. I bet you smashed it though!’

You cringe a little, ‘Well I made a big statement about me letting people be who they are and celebrating their strengths and I’ve already been snidey about the others. Eurgh, I’m a terrible person!’

Your friend laughs, ‘Hardly! You’re the most accepting person I know. But sometimes you’ve got to say it like it is. What did Garrett say?’

‘About what?’ You ask confused.

There’s a pause, ‘The presentation, did you tell him about it?’

You hadn’t even thought about it earlier, there didn’t seem to be a opening in the conversation, ‘Err no, I didn’t see the point. What interest would he have in margins and KPIs and loss leaders? He works in a museum, he’s probably working on something amazingly interesting. And besides, today he told me that he’s a widow, there wasn’t the opportunity.’

There’s another pause, ‘Ok so he sounds, complicated and great and whatever. But what does he actually know about you?’

‘You know, stuff. Like. Erm.’

‘I’m coming over, this needs to be discussed properly.’

You rub your eyes, ‘It’s not, please don’t not tonight. I’m exhausted. Tomorrow?’

Your friend sighs, ‘Tomorrow morning, I’ll meet you at the gym we’ll get coffee. Then maybe you can ask me about what I’ve been up to seeing as you’re so interested.’

You let out a slow breath. ‘I’m....’

‘Don’t say you’re sorry. I love you. See you in the morning.’


	6. Some Friendly Advice

After dropping Amy to school Garrett grabs a coffee with Robbie. He is very excited to find out about Garretts online dating experience.

‘So they just sent you a picture of their fully naked body?!’ He says in a loud whisper while they queue to order.

Garrett laughs, ‘Yes, there was little left to the imagination!’

Robbie stares into space for a moment, ‘.....so what did you do?’

‘Nothing! What do you think I did?’

They pause their conversation as they reach the front of the line. ‘Good morning!’ Garrett smiles.

‘My favourite customer’ the barista smiles back. Garrett orders for them both. 

Robbie looks between Garrett and the woman behind the counter. She can barely keep her eyes from him and he is completely oblivious. 

They take their coffees and walk to find a table.

‘Are you just so used to people checking you out that you don’t notice or is your head literally in the clouds?’ 

Garrett turns into a table to sit, ‘What do you mean?’

‘Nothing, it doesn’t matter. Anyway you were saying. You really didn’t do anything after they sent the picture?’ He continues sceptically.

‘Ok so maybe. I tried taking a picture of myself....’

Robbie slaps his hands on the table drawing some attention to them... ‘I knew it!’

‘.....I didn’t send it! Do you know how ridiculous I looked, and felt!’

Robbie can’t control his laughter, ‘I can just imagine, I love you mate but really, the idea of you.... it’s fucking hilarious!’

‘Thank you, somehow I feel worse. I thought you were supposed to be my mate!’ They both laugh. The whole idea is ridiculous.

‘You know I’m just jealous, no hot strangers are interested in seeing what I’ve got going on,’ Robbie gives a little shimmy. ‘How’s it going other than that anyway?’

Garrett beams and wraps his hands around his coffee, ‘Well. I’m talking to someone I really like. So much so that I’m not talking to anyone else. They’re just amazing. So accepting of everything, they think I’m hot which is a plus. I think they’re just. Oh my god I can’t even describe.’

Robbie smiles, there’s something he wants to say but he holds back, ‘They sound great! What do they do?’

‘Ummm...’ Garrett thinks for a moment. ‘You know, I don’t know. I don’t think I asked. I’ve spoken a lot about me I know but. Oh dear.’

‘That’s ok mate, you’ve got plenty of time. What kind of things do you have in common?’

‘Oh well. We both like to keep fit and eat healthy. We both like dancing and, well. We like each other?’ Garrett laughs quietly. 

Robbie takes a long sip of his coffee, ‘I don’t want to piss on your bonfire mate but. Isn’t it a bit soon to put all your eggs in one basket? You don’t really know them and I’m sure you’re planning your wedding.’

Garrett feels his face turning red, from embarrassment or annoyance he can’t tell which, ‘Look. I know it’s quick. But I just have a good feeling about this. Back in the day there was never this much choice and that wasn’t a problem. In a million years I may not have found them without the app but I have and it feels amazing and I’m going to follow my heart on this one.’

Robbie reaches over the table and pats Garretts arm, ‘I didn’t mean to upset you mate. I’m just looking out for you. I don’t want your heart to be broken because you’re falling for the idea of someone you’re making up in your head.’

‘I’m going to ask them to meet me in real life. Have a proper date. And I’m going to find out what they do for a living and what their favourite flavour of ice cream is and all that other good stuff,’ Garrett laughs into his coffee.

Robbie starts to apologise and Garrett holds up a hand, ‘I know you’re worried. And I love you for it. But I want to do this, I’m not made of glass. My heart can’t be broken any worse than it already has been.’

They both leave that to hang in the air for a moment.

Robbie breaks the silence, ‘I suppose the next important question is, have they seen a picture of your junk?’

They both laugh and the moment passes.

.....................................................................

‘I feel like this completely defeats the object of going to the gym,’ you and your friend settle down with coffee and pastries in hand. 

‘My body is a temple and its deity accepts offerings in the shape of almond croissants and full fat lattes,’ you both laugh. You’d put in some serious work this morning, you had some tensions to work out.

‘And as I got here at 6.30am just to spend time with your sorry ass I shall not be pastry shamed!’

You throw your hands up, ‘Alright, alright I’m sorry. This was a great idea. And thank you. My sorry ass is grateful for your company, the squat reps and the croissant.’ You raise yours in a cheers motion. ‘So tell me what’s going on with you?’

You sit and eat your breakfast while your friend fills you in on the details of the sexts between them and the tattooed hunk. You feel a little envious. Things hadn’t gone that way with Garrett yet, it was still early early days. It didn’t stop your mind from slipping to thoughts of him pushing you against a wall and pressing his body against yours urgently so you can feel his great big.....

‘Sorry what? I missed that last bit?’ You feel yourself getting a little red in the face so take a long sip of your drink to try and hide it.

‘I’d really like him to take me out on a date. I want to see if he’s just all mouth and no trousers.’

You laugh into your coffee, ‘Personally I don’t see a problem if he is,’ you make an exaggerated wink.

Your friend rolls their eyes, ‘I agree. And when you see this.... you’ll be more sure.’

You’re shown a shower selfie that leaves very little to the imagination.

‘Nice,’ you return your attention back to your breakfast, ‘Very nice, so when are you seeing each other?’

‘That’s the issue, he disappears when it comes to talking about that kind of thing. I don’t know. Maybe he is a catfish? Or in a relationship or. What do you think I should do?’ 

You look up and they’re trying to avoid eye contact with you.

‘If you really like him give him the benefit of the doubt. You never know, he may be exactly who he says he is,’ you lean forward and squeeze their arm, ‘I can tell you like him. He may have a reason for being how he is and he’ll tell you when he’s ready.’

They smile at this, ‘Thanks. It must be refreshing to be talking to someone who is almost too open and honest? How’s that going?’

You take a moment to think, what they had said last night had resonated with you. How much of you had you shared, ‘You got me thinking last night actually and I hadn’t realised how little I’d shared about myself. He says he likes me but does he actually know me?’

Your friend gestures their coffee toward you, ‘I know what you’re doing, trying not to push. You’re being laid back ‘I’m so fine with you having a kid and a tricky relationship history’ and not creating a space for you. A relationship is 2 people becoming something together. Not one person making themselves be what they think the other needs.’

You start to say something but they cut you off by raising their hand.

‘Ok, you’re going to say that’s not what you’re doing, and I’m not trying to upset you. But let me just say this, because no one else will. You are not a replacement and you are not a trial run.’

There isn’t much you can say to that, ‘I need to meet him. See him in real life. I think we could tell each other everything and still not really know until we’re in a room together.’

Your friend thinks this over, it applies to both of you. 

You both must have the same thought at the same time, catching each other’s eyes you both burst out laughing. ‘I didn’t mean anything rude I mean it!’ You protest, ‘Although come to think of it, what I could do in a room with him and 30 minutes.’

‘I could do it in 10!’ 

.....................................................................

Garrett spends most of his day in a fog, he keeps thinking over what Robbie said and is trying to order his thoughts. 

It doesn’t feel one sided, it doesn’t feel like he’s creating something out of nothing. They’d said his pace, no pressure, no expectations, so he’d thought they were letting him take the lead. But had him taking the lead meant they’d been pushed to the side lines?

Ok, I need to fix this, he thinks to himself. If there is anything to fix that is. 

***Hey!***

He texts quickly, thinking what to say next.... sorry I’ve been selfish, sorry I’ve talked about myself so much, I really like you.... let’s run away together. What do I say!?

*😊 How are you? I’m sorry it always seems like you’re texting first, I promise you always just beat me to it!*

***Great minds think alike 🙂 I’m great actually, how are you?***

*Better for hearing from you, naturally!*

He smiles to himself, there’s nothing wrong. This is new and fun, and exciting. 

***I don’t know if this is too weird or intense to say but I’ve stopped texting anyone else on the app because you’re kind of all I can think about...***

He needs to stop doing this to himself, intense bouts of honesty and then the worry waiting for the response. 

*You’re all I’m thinking about too ❤️ I mean, how could I get you out of my head? Other areas of my life are suffering greatly you’ll have to find a way to make it up to me 😉*

He smiles at this, he knows the perfect way. At least he hopes he does. If they’re on the same page, as he thinks they are, then this will be the sign.

***I really want to meet you, in real life 🙂***

..................................................................

‘Yes!’ You unconsciously say aloud, you look up to see a few quizzical looks from the guys around you.

You raise your phone and shrug. Not the most professional of examples to set but you couldn’t care less. 

*Yes, please. ☺️ I was thinking about that today actually!*

You spin in your chair. This is so exciting. And scary, not scary - nerve wracking. You haven’t felt this nervous about a date in a long time. 

You drum the edge of your desk. Where were you? Writing an email to a supplier. ‘If it is possible to get an eta on wow passion is so....’

Oh. That’s dangerous. 

You had been joking about areas of your life suffering but had now apparently willed it into existence.

You had asked Garrett about his passions and as he is talking about his work at and outside the museum you take a moment to finish what you were doing... properly... 

You establish his passion for history, Ancient Greece and love of the outdoors, interests you share. 

You look around your work place and wonder what it would be like to travel the world on adventures, finding lost and forgotten artefacts.

*Wow! I want to come and explore with you!*

You can’t remember the last time you got to do anything outdoors. You both agree to a hike together and you make a mental note to get some practise in before hand.

*You seem too perfect....*

***I’m not perfect, but I’m happy to convince you of anything in person 😘***

You get up to walk and stretch your legs for a moment. You think this is an opening to push a little and suggest something.

*I was thinking, usually before I meet someone I like to speak to them on the phone. To, you know, break the ice a little? It’s completely fine if you’re not comfortable with that but, here’s my number and if you’re up for it give me a call?*

You send and hold your breath. You wait a few moments for a reply, and then one comes.

_Garrett is offline! In the mean time, swipe, match and connect with other Lovelink members!?_


	7. One Step Forward

Garrett is packing up for the day when he is disturbed by a knock on his office door.

‘Garrett, hi. I need you to run down to the archives there’s all sorts of problems,’ the museum director walks in looking flustered.

‘I’m just on my way at the door I need....’ he’s cut off before he can finish.

‘Look, it will just take a minute. I don’t know what these art guys are doing but they’re looking for something they say they marked to be part of the exhibition and they can’t find it.’ 

He looks at his watch, he needs to get home to read with Amy before bed. 

‘I can give them 5 minutes then I really have to go,’ he grabs everything from the desk and stuffs it into his bag before throwing his bag onto his back.

‘You’re a star. It shouldn’t take more than 2 minutes you know the place like the back of your hand!’

20 minutes later and Garrett is still looking for this apparently vital missing item. He can feel himself getting more and more anxious as he tries to leave and they beg him for just 2 more minutes. 

He looks around desperately for someone to save him when from behind he hears a voice call, ‘What are you still doing here!?’

It’s Emma jogging towards him, ‘They couldn’t find something they needed my help!?’ He blurts out. 

‘Get out of here. I’ll sort this.’ 

‘Thank you. So much.’ He shouts running for the door. He unlocks his bike and cycles as quickly and as safely as he can home.

When he gets through his front door the nanny is waiting in her coat ready to go.

‘I’m so sorry, I’m sorry!’ He pants as he drops his bags and coat to the floor in the hall. 

‘It’s ok, these things happen. Amy is already in bed, I just checked in on her and she’s fast asleep,’ the nanny smiles as she creeps through the things he’s dumped on the floor to let herself out. ‘Homework done, she took her reading book to bed with her.’ 

Garretts shoulders slump. He hated missing bed time. They always said good night and love you before sleep. It was their tradition since his wife had passed. They made sure to always say I love you.

He turns to the nanny just before she leaves, ‘Thank you,’ he says quietly, ‘Oh! I meant to ask if you were able to watch Amy Friday evening?’

She pulls her phone out and checks her diary, ‘Erm. Yes. That’s fine!’

‘Thank you so much. See you then,’ he says gathering his things up from the floor the front door clicks closed behind him.

He goes into his room and puts his work things away before going to look in on Amy. She’s sound asleep with her book tucked under her arm. 

He gently moves the book and replaces her book mark. Watching her sleep for a moment his disappointment at missing bedtime is replaced with how much he loves this little person. 

He kisses her on the forehead and tells her he loves her. She turns over and snuggles down in her bed and sleepily says, ‘Love you too daddy.’

He smiles contentedly and quietly leaves the room.

He starts to fix himself something to eat and goes to grab his phone. But it’s not in his pocket. He pats his other pockets to see if it’s there but nothing. He rushes into his room and checks his jacket, nothing there either.

He feels himself start to panic. He grabs his bag and turns it out onto his bed, his phone hits the bed with a thump. Relief washes over him but picking it up he finds his battery is dead.

He curses himself. He always keeps it charged in case there’s an emergency, what if Amy had needed him!? He puts it on charge and returns to his food. 

He taps the sides of his thighs, he couldn’t remember if he’d said goodbye to you. Had he left mid way through the conversation? Is that ghosting? Oh no do you think he’s ghosted you?

He abandons his food to check if his phone is charged, nothing, he unplugs the charger and brings it into the dining room with him and his dinner.

Amy is asleep so he can break the rule about toys at the table. He plugs it back in and starts to eat, keeping on eye out to check for when the screen comes to life.

As soon as screen lights up he grabs for it, punches in his passcode and opens Lovelink. 

There is your message, with your phone number. From..... 3 hours ago? Oh no. Oh no, oh no he thinks. He can see you’re offline, shall he text you? No. 

He’s going to call. 

His battery is too low yet so he clears up his food and jumps in the shower. He decides he has to be presentable for the call. Would you still be awake? 

It’s only 8.30, that’s not late. 

What if you’re with someone? What if you don’t want to talk any more? He pulls on some boxers and a T-shirt and paces back and forth. He was so confident at first but the more he thinks about it the more self conscious he becomes.

He sits on the edge of his bed and looks at your number, he takes a deep breath and counts down... 3.... 2..... 1 call.

It’s ringing.... oh my god what am I doing!?

‘Hey! It’s me!’

...................................................................

You tried your best to avoid looking at your phone after Garrett went offline. You’d thought about messaging again, apologising, taking it back.

But if speaking on the phone was too much how on earth would you meet each other. You want a real relationship, not an internet boyfriend.

So you threw your phone into your bag and got busy until it was time to leave.

When you arrive home tiredness washes over you. You pat yourself on the back for your commitment to meal prep and put something in the oven while you shower and change. 

You can’t help but look back on Lovelink to see if Garrett is online, maybe you missed a message? 

Still nothing. You crawl in to bed, you were up early this morning and could do with an early night. 

You put on some music and are just settling down when you hear your phone vibrating. It’s a number you don’t recognise, your heart jumps into your throat.

You answer the call, ‘Hello?’

‘Hey! It’s me!’ Comes the deep voice you instantly know to be Garretts. 

‘....errr Garrett, I should have said.’ He continues. His voice is just as you imagined, deep and warm. You can tell he’s smiling but nervous.

‘Hey you! I’m so glad you called, I was a little worried when I didn’t hear from you!’

Garrett goes on to explain about work and his battery and he apologises...

‘...I was worried that you’d think I’d ghosted you. That’s the right word right?’ 

You laugh gently, ‘Yes, but no. I didn’t think you’d ghosted me. Maybe if I hadn’t heard from you by tomorrow!’

This time Garrett laughs and you can’t help but think that it’s the sexiest sound you’ve ever heard. You make a promise to yourself to make sure he does it as often as possible.

‘Anyway! Where were we earlier? We were talking about all your rugged outdoorsyness weren’t we?’

Garretts voice turns serious, ‘I feel like I’m acting all big time, that’s not me at all.’

‘I kind of like it!’ You can’t keep the hint of flirting out of your voice. 

Garrett clears his throat on the other side and says, ‘No, now it’s your turn to tell me something about yourself!’

You think for a moment, ‘There’s not a lot to tell. I feel like I work 24/7 but I love my job and I’m really good at it...’

You go on to tell him a bit more about what you do and he listens and interjects every now and then...

‘....that’s because you’re brilliant! I respect your path, you’re single minded and there’s nothing wrong with that!’

You can’t stop the smile spreading across your face, ‘Thank you, I thought you might think it was terribly boring. You’re off Indiana Jonesing and I’m just doing my thing.’

‘Please don’t ever think that,’ Garrett says earnestly, ‘You’re my ideal person.’

You both stay quiet for a moment, neither knowing what to say next but the silence doesn’t feel uncomfortable.

‘I have a question for you,’ Garrett breaks the silence, you notice theres a little edge of nerves in his voice, ‘What’s your perfect date?’

‘Ooh, well there’s really only one thing I need and that is if, for example you, were going to take me on a date, that it would reveal the real you. I’d want you to be comfortable and yourself.’

‘Reveal the real me? That’s a lot of pressure!’ He laughs nervously.

‘Not at all. Just be yourself. You can handle it!’

You can hear Garrett moving around almost as if he’s getting the confidence to ask something. You feel butterflies in your tummy. 

‘So. Erm, you’ll have to go on a date with me to find out.... I guess! So. I have someone to watch Amy on Friday, unless that’s too soon for you?’

You do a happy dance, ‘Deal! It’s a date. Friday.’ You can’t help but yawn. You curse yourself for getting up so early.

Garrett picks up on it and quickly says, ‘I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to keep you, I’ll go. Besides I have to prepare the perfect ‘reveal the real me’ date! I don’t want to disappoint!’

‘No! Please don’t go. I was just up early and I’m already in bed and snuggly I just, couldn’t help myself.’

Garrett pauses for a moment before saying, ‘Oh, in bed are you?’ You notice his voice has become slightly deeper.

His tone makes you feel self conscious and you pull the covers up around you, ‘Where are you then?’ You ask.

‘I’m actually sitting on my bed, I didn’t know whether it would be appropriate to get in whilst on the phone, I’m terrible at this,’ he laughs softly. ‘I feel really out of my depth with all this dating stuff. What’s right and wrong. I’m so glad you’re so kind and accepting.’

Your first instinct is to ask what he’s wearing. To get him to describe in detail what he’s got going on under what he’s wearing but. Instead..

...you lie back on your pillow and snap a selfie. You text it to Garrett with the caption ‘Just get into bed!’ 

You hear him fumble with his phone, ‘Sorry, I just got a - oh!’ He laughs and you hear him move his covers and get into bed.

After a moment you get a text. A similar selfie with the caption ‘Ok!!’

You both laugh and you hear Garrett sigh as he snuggles down. 

‘Can I ask you a question and promise you won’t laugh?’ He asks quietly.

‘Of course. Anything.’ You’re not quite sure where this is going.

‘When I first got onto Lovelink, people were calling me daddy? What does that mean? Is it like a Sugar Daddy thing?’ 

You try to stifle a laugh, not at him, but he asked so seriously, ‘I’m sorry, well. How did you feel about being called daddy?’

‘Uncomfortable, mostly. Is it a sex thing?’

You smile, ‘Yes Garrett, it’s a sex thing.’

‘I knew it!’ He says excitedly. ‘When I set up the account with my mate Robbie and the messages started coming in we didn’t have a clue!’

‘Ah! So who exactly swiped right on me then you or Robbie?’

You can hear Garrett panic, ‘Oh me! Me! 100% me!’

You laugh, ‘Ok, I was just checking I was flirting with the right daddy.’

Garrett pauses, ‘Ok. So now I get it. It’s different when you say it. Umm, so would you like to call me daddy?’

You feel a shiver run through you, you’re not sure if he asked the question innocently or, ‘I hope you understand quite how sexy you sounded when you asked that.’

He hear his deep laugh, the kind of laugh you get when you know exactly what you’re doing, ‘I do understand. Just trying it on for size.’

You blush despite yourself, ‘Mmm well. You’ll have to wait to find out.’

You hear Garrett takes a deep breath, his tone changes when he continues, ‘Did I tell you that I tried to send a nude?’

You sit up, ‘No you did not! Mr Brown, tell me more!’

He tells the story he’d told Robbie earlier, and you both laugh. You love listening to him talk and you can tell you’re both comfortable. You feel relieved. It feels a step closer to this becoming a real thing.

‘Well. I think it’s always best to wait until you know someone well before sending those kind of pics. And only when requested. There’s nothing worse than an unsolicited nude. People are mostly very honest in asking for what they want and what they’re into and consent is really important. Not just physically, respecting people’s virtual space is important too.’

Garrett agrees, ‘It was a bit of a shock to receive one. It was all just.... there!’

You laugh, ‘You can unmatch and block people. If someone makes you uncomfortable you don’t have to keep talking to them. Just keep that in mind when you’re dating.’

‘Oh,’ Garrett says surprised, ‘I. Oh.’

He stops himself.

‘Are you ok?’ You ask.

‘I didn’t think to ask. Are you dating anyone else?’ He sounds a little hurt. 

‘No, not at all. Why do you ask?’

‘It’s just, you said to keep it in mind when I’m dating and. Well. I don’t want to date anyone else. Just you.’

‘You’re new to dating again, I just thought you’d want to play the field. Make sure that you, you know. Aren’t.... settling.... too soon?’ It’s the first time you’ve stated your fear out loud. It didn’t really feel real until you just said it.

‘I said earlier that I’d stopped talking to other people, I just. I’m not settling, I really like you. Is that ok?’ 

‘It’s perfect. You’re perfect. Thank you. I forget that you’re so honest. People tend to say a lot of things they don’t mean.’

‘Fuckboys?’ He says with a smile,

‘Fuckboys indeed,’ you laugh out loud. ‘So, usually when talking to those kind of people late at night there’s at least one topless picture sent. I’m thinking I need some proof of your outdoorsyness. If that’s ok, of course!’

You hear Garrett looking through his phone and then a text arrives. A picture of him climbing, and he’s most certainly topless. You can’t help but look at his hands. Big and strong. 

‘Hey! You still there?’ You snap yourself out of your thoughts.

‘Yes! Of course!’ 

Garrett laughs at the other end. ‘I take it you like the picture then?’ He sounds pleased.

‘Yes. Very much so. Whatever can I do to repay you?’ 

‘Friday, that’s all I need,’ He yawns and that sets you off, ‘as much as I have loved every second of this I think it’s time we got some sleep.’

‘I agree. Talk tomorrow?’

‘Counting the seconds! Night night.’

‘Night!’

You end the call and stare at your phone for a few moments resisting the urge to call back. You feel satisfied by the conversation but also want more. 

You open the selfie of Garrett in his bed and curl up on your side. You hold it out in front of you and imagine him lying there and it fills you with happiness. 

Your mind drifts to the idea of his arms wrapping around you and holding you close. You can imagine everything he says in his voice now. Telling you you’re his ideal person.

A realisation hits you, you roll onto your back and put your hands to your head. Oh, you’re falling for this guy.

...............................................................

As if mirroring you Garrett lies in bed with his hands to his head, staring at the ceiling. 

He doesn’t know why after every move forward with you he has to wait and see how he feels. He feels happy, excited. He feels more confident in meeting you in person now, what a brilliant idea of yours. He worried he’d be shy not knowing how to speak to you but, it was easy and fun. 

Like he’d known you forever. He can’t wait to speak to you again. 

He takes a long look at your selfie and sends you a text before settling himself to sleep.

*Sweet dreams 😘*


	8. The Next Step

*Good morning 😘*

You wake up to a text. You stretch and smile, a contented feeling spreading through you. He’d sent the text a couple of hours ago then followed up with another saying he had a busy day ahead and would catch up with you that evening.

You send a quick...

*😘😘*

...and set about starting your day off. 

Midway through your afternoon browsing ASOS for date outfit ideas you receive a call, putting it on speaker so you can continue browsing...

‘I’m on the verge of desperate measures to get a date with this guy...’

‘Hello to you too, I’m fine thank you for asking.’

‘...yea yea so. We’ve got all this sexual tension and he hasn’t suggested a date.’

You lower your voice to a whisper and say, ‘You’ve only been talking for 3 days....’

‘...3 days is 3 days. This is the 21st Century. Either we’re doing this or we’re not.’

‘Ok so. I know, just sort of spit balling an idea here, have you tried not being horny?’

There’s a long pause.

‘.....have you joined a celibacy order? Has someone decreed it No Nut month? I want to get. it. on. Why else are we doing this? I don’t want someone to talk on the phone and breathe heavily alone in the dark. I’ve got you for everything else.’

‘Such a shame I find you repulsive otherwise we could have wrapped this up a long time ago. I have a date Friday. I’m sending you screenshots of outfit ideas,’ you send over a couple of images.

‘A date? First you call me repulsive, then you tell me you have a date? With The Hot Widower I assume?’

‘Yes. With Garrett. We spoke on the phone last night. I’m feeling good about it.’

‘So we’re just brushing over.... wait, last night? And you tell me not to be horny? How did this conversation go? Please don’t spare any juicy details.’

You laugh, ‘No juice. Just a nice chat and a little flirtiness. It was fun. Cute. I think I might actually be falling for him.’

There’s another pointed pause before a whispering voice comes from the other side....

‘...you’ve only been talking for 3 days....’

You put on an exaggerated exasperated voice, ‘3 days is 3 days and bleh bleh.’

‘Touché, but, I have my concerns. What if he’s got this dark back story. What if he found a cursed artefact and it stole his wife’s soul and now he has to feed it yours?’

You sigh loudly, ‘Or you know practical things like he’s not really ready to move on, that he feels overwhelmed and anxious. That he’s desperate for commitment and rushes me into something I’m not ready for?’

You add a couple of outfits to your basket and start to feel a little nervous. Can you catch unfiltered honesty?

You don’t want your friend to worry about you, you have a good feeling about Garrett but there is potential for some pretty sizeable speed bumps along the way.

Are you really the right person to guide him through this new chapter in his life?

Would the balance of the relationship always be uneven? 

‘I wouldn’t be your friend if I wasn’t worried. I’m just thinking of every possible worst case scenario. Probably because you sound serious about this, we are not in hook up territory here.’

You both laugh, ‘Well.... I don’t think so. Time will tell I suppose when we see each other. Anyway. Which of those outfits look rip off-able in case a hook up is on the cards?’

‘The first one, I don’t see many straps and fiddly buttons. Just in case.’

You round the afternoon off by ordering your new outfit and getting your hair cut in preparation for your date, fingers crossed it doesn’t involve too much outdoor activity.

....................................................................

Garrett has been watching the clock all day counting down the hours until he can get home and talk to you again.

He’s found it hard to concentrate, hard to eat with the butterflies that keep erupting in his stomach every time he thinks about meeting you on Friday. It had been at least double figures in years since his last first date. Not just a date, at least that since he’d even looked at another person with any kind of interest. 

The excitement and anticipation was something he hadn’t prepared himself for, that he’d be quite so consumed with thoughts of you. 

Over lunch he’d planned out his ideas for your date. Every day he passed a florist that always had the most beautiful flowers outside, it made him smile and looked forward to seeing what seasonal display they would have in the window. 

In spring he would buy a bunch of daffodils for Amy or a small bunch of pink roses for her birthday but that wasn’t the same as a romantic gesture, and he was definitely romantic.

Step 1: get flowers.

‘Hey Ems,’ he started mid way through a thought, ‘Could you possibly do me a favour?’

‘2 in one week, you’re going to owe me!’ She sits down next to him and cheers her coffee to his, ‘What can I do for you?’

Garrett flushes red. He feels a bit apprehensive about his choice of venue for his date but can’t think of a better way to show his true self.

‘I have a date on Friday,’ he starts. 

Emma grins from ear to ear and shoves him with her shoulder, ‘The boy doesn’t mess around!’

Garrett looks down at his drink smiling broadly and gives a little chuckle, ‘I know, we spoke on the phone last night and it was just so effortless and exciting. Like we’d known each other forever. Nothing awkward. And I sent a good morning text today,’ he looks up at Emma and raises an eyebrow, ‘so it’s moving in the right direction.’

Emma crosses her arms and leans back in her chair, ‘Garrett Brown you are a natural. Sounds like you’ve got it all covered, what do you need my help with?’

Turning his cup in his hands he continues, ‘Well. The prerequisite for the date is to show the real me, just to be relaxed and be myself and I thought that I would bring them here. Show them what I’m working on. I feel confident and comfortable here.’

Emma nods, ‘Makes sense. Neutral ish ground. Comfortable for you.’

Garrett nods too, ‘Exactly, and I need your help to set things up and keep you know who away so they don’t say no or make things awkward.’

They share a knowing look. There had been an incident at a gala earlier that year where the Museum Director had tried to flirt with him and it hadn’t gone well.

Emma taps her nose, ‘I get you. Operation date is Top Secret - need to know.’

Garrett bumps her shoulder with his, ‘Thanks. Do you think a trail of rose petals is a nice idea?’

Emma grimaces, ‘Depends what it leads to? To a blanket set up with a picnic - romantic. To a dark room with a stranger? A bit murdery possibly.’

Garrett thinks for a moment, ‘Ok, step 1 flowers, step 2 picnic,’ he makes notes in his phone.

Emma leans toward him and says quietly under her breath, ‘It’s going to be great.’

‘Thanks, I needed to hear that.’


	9. I will think of a good title later

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (COYG means come on you Gunners - it’s a football thing. I see it on Facebook all the time. The Gunners are Arsenal - the football team. I’ve decided Garrett and Robbie are Arsenal supporters. I apologise if this character choice is disappointing for some of you, possibly some Spurs supporters. You can interchange the G and imagine is says ‘COYS’ instead.)

*We still on for Friday? COYG!*

Oh shit, Garrett had forgotten that he’d organised to watch the football with Robbie on Friday....

*Sorry can’t do. Got a date 😬*

Garretts phone starts to ring.

‘Alright Rob?’

‘Yes mate, a date? Who with?’

‘The one I was telling you about the other day. We spoke on the phone last night. It was their idea, you know to break the ice before seeing each other.’

‘On the phone, old school I like it!’ Robbie laughs, ‘so how does it work, where are you going? Are they in charge or you what’s the deal?’

Garrett talks through his plan for the date. Robbie interjects with positive noises and encouragement.

‘Sounds good! So what will happen if things go well? You think you’ll make a move?’

Garrett is quiet for a moment, he hadn’t really thought of that, ‘I suppose if it feels right then that’s the logical move.’

‘And what if things go really well? You prepared?’

‘Prepared? What do you mean?’

‘You know. When two people like each other very much and things get frisky prepared?’

‘Isn’t it a bit soon for that? This is a get to know you date. Aren’t there things like bases?’ He starts to nervously tap his foot.

‘You never know, if you like each other as much as you say it might get a little PG if you catch my drift. Better to be safe than sorry.’

Garrett thinks for a moment, ‘I don’t think I’m ready for that,’ he says definitively. 

‘That’s a conversation you need to have bud. As a relationship expert myself I think the key is clear communication and open dialogue’ Garrett can hear a laugh in the background, ‘Quiet you!’ Robbie shouts out incredulous.

‘OK. I’m going to leave you guys to it I’ve got a phone call to make.’

‘Look, I know it’s been a while but it’s like riding a bike. You don’t forget how. Just be yourself. And don’t worry. I don’t think everyone’s into that 50 Shades stuff but you might want to do a bit of research first. Just in case.’

‘50 shades of what?’

‘Do some research mate. I’ll send you some links. See you later.’

Garrett ends the call and feels more confused than ever. He looks at the time and realises it’s later than he thought. He dials your number and counts the rings until you answer.

‘Hey you.’ He can hear your voice is softened a little by sleep.

‘Sorry, did I wake you? It’s later than I planned.’

‘Not at all. I’ve just had an incredibly lazy day and not spoken to anyone for a while.’ 

He can hear you shifting and imagines you’re sitting up in bed. 

You fill each other in on your days, his day filled with odd requests and itinerary planning for his next big artefact mission.

‘I’ve heard about that exhibition it sounds fascinating I’m a fan of that artist, I’ll definitely be check it out when it opens.’

The idea of having you in his place makes him feel excited. An opportunity to share in something that he has been a part of and you are interested in. He feels happy with his choice of date venue.

‘Maybe I can organise a private tour?’

‘And there was me hoping you’d want to show me off!’ he hears in your voice that you’re teasing.

‘After Friday and my revealing of my real self you might not want to be seen with me!’ He laughs nervously.

‘I’m not worried.’ The decisiveness in your voice puts him at ease. ‘I have to tell you though, my friend is a little worried that you are going to give my soul over to a cursed ancient artefact.’

Garrett laughs loudly, ‘Oh, damn! My secret plans have been discovered! I hope you can hear I’m twirling my evil moustache!’

You both erupt into laughter, ‘I’d be offended if I wasn’t so chuffed you’d talked to your friends about me!’ He continues once you both calm down.

‘Of course I have! Who would want to keep you a secret?’ He feels his face flush and prays you can’t sense it through the phone, ‘have you told anyone about me?’

‘Well, I don’t know if I should tell you but, I got coffee with my friend Robbie and I might have talked about you too much.’

Another uncontrollable burst of honesty he almost immediately regrets. He can’t help it, you’re so easy to talk to. He had worried that he was so rusty he’d find just talking to someone new impossible. But this was, almost perfect.

‘Really? That’s really nice. It’s great you’ve got someone you feel comfortable talking to about things! I guess the question is.... what were you saying?’

‘Mainly just about how great you were and how well we are getting on.’

‘That’s great hear, it’s awesome that you’ve talked about me, I feel so special! And just so you know. I’ve not just talked about cursed artefacts but the good stuff too. How funny, and sweet and honest and. Well. Hot you are mostly,’ you both laugh shyly.

‘You are special... I can’t remember the last time I had butterflies like this,’ his voice comes out quieter than he intended. 

A quiet flirty voice replies, ‘I’m all butterflies!’

Garrett clears his throat suddenly feeling very aware of himself and surroundings, ‘Thank you for admitting that!’

‘Of course, so no butterflies means no flirting?’ 

‘No, not on my part anyway. Another museum director hit on me at a fancy museum gala. But they were negging me so....’

‘Eurgh!’ Comes an exasperated noise from the other side, ‘I HATE that!’

‘It’s the worst! Don’t put me down to pick me up! Why do people think that works?’ Your conversation has become more animated over your shared annoyance.

‘I suppose it must work some time. So, other than not negging you, how did I get you all flirty?’ 

‘Well, erm. Physically, it would have to be your beautiful eyes.’ 

‘Oh thank you! They’re definitely no match for your smile. But that’s not what I find most attractive about you.’

‘Really? Do tell!’ Garrett feels himself sitting taller with pride. 

‘Your personality! You’re a big ole cheesy romantic and I love it!’ 

Garrett smiles broadly. ‘I love that you’re into me like that! You just make it so easy to talk to you and feel comfortable!’

‘Are you usually shy around most people?’

‘New people definitely, I guess that’s what makes our connection so special.’

‘Real connections are hard to find on here!’

He had thought that at the beginning. How could he find a real connection texting a stranger, but talking with you had been one surprise after another.

......................................................................

‘Well, it was instant for me. Thank you for making it so fun to break out of my comfort zone.’

You are both relieved and excited that Garrett feels a connection with you. It was all starting to feel a bit impossible. Almost as if you were making it up, or fooling yourself that things could go this smoothly. Be this easy with someone. 

‘And it feels great that you feel comfortable doing it with me.’

‘You’re the best guide I could have asked for. I’ll have to find a way to repay you.’

Not sure where the conversation is headed you lighten the tone slightly.

‘Ooh! Are we working on a barter system? What are you offering?’

‘Well, I’m quite good at massages.’

‘I would love one!’

‘And I want to give you one..... or many!’ 

You laugh, ‘Oh! You do, do you. Good to know!’

A short silence follows before Garrett, sounding a little confused, replies, ‘Oh dear, did I say something funny by accident?’

You sometimes forget that Garrett really just says what he means, there’s no ulterior motive or side to him. 

‘It’s just you said, give me one. It could mean something else I was just being immature I’m sorry,’ Garrett doesn’t say anything so you continue, ‘You know, give me one as in....’

‘Oh, it’s another sex thing isn’t it?’ You can’t quite tell by his tone how he feels. Frustrated? Annoyed. 

‘Yes, sort of a flirty joke. Not a very good one though. Or very romantic.’ You stop talking feeling a little self conscious. 

Garrett clears his throat. It’s the first time the conversation has felt awkward. It feels as if there is an elephant in the room.

‘Are you ok?’ You say quietly, ‘Is there anything we need to talk about?’

‘Oh! No, no!’ Garrett says brightly, ‘Just thinking it’s not very sexy being so naive about things is it? I feel like such a.... Dad.’

‘Not at all! Please don’t think that! You are undeniably a dad, and it comes with certain perks like. Dad jokes and offbeat dad dancing,’ You hear him let out a small laugh, ‘But, you are sexy. Just. So you know.’

‘I’m not sure I agree, and I don’t really feel it but thank you. It’s just.... I don’t know if my mate was teasing me but. He was talking about 50 Shades? Is that a thing we need to talk about?’

You realise that you’re both in the same boat, with friends giving their advice. You know they have your best interests at heart but, for 2 people who haven’t met yet that’s a lot to take on board. Especially someone just getting back into dating.

‘I don’t think he’s teasing you, I think he’s trying to make sure you’re ummm.... maybe the right word is prepared? Let’s put it this way, do we need to talk about sex?’

‘It’s a sex thing again?’ You hear him sigh loudly, ‘I don’t know, should we? But, I don’t think.... it’s too soon right? It’s not that I haven’t.... it’s just that I don’t know how I... you know what I mean?’

‘I’m happy to talk about anything you want to, when you’re ready. I don’t want to dismiss any of your thoughts or concerns, I will just say. We haven’t met yet.’

‘It’s not that I’m not. Oh goodness, you know. It’s just. I really like you. Why does it suddenly feel weird and awkward!?’

‘Because we started talking about,’ you lower your voice to a whisper, ‘S. E. X. with someone we like. It’s bound to be a bit awkward.’ You laugh and Garrett sighs.

‘Thank you for being so patient. I just hope it’ll feel worth it when we meet.’

‘It’s already worth it. If it all ended tomorrow I wouldn’t regret a thing.’ It’s at these moments you wish you could put your arms around him, or hold his hand. You can feel that words aren’t quite enough. ‘You didn’t tell me what you would like in return for a massage by the way!’

‘It would be really nice if you could play with my hair?’ He replies shyly.

‘I can do that!’ You imagine him resting his head on your chest as you run your fingers through his hair. 

‘I can’t wait! And,l...’ he trails off into a yawn.

‘As much as I could talk to you all night. I think we should get some sleep.’

‘Oh no no! Sorry for yawning it’s just....’ he yawns again and you continue before he can protest.

‘Time for sleep you, as long as you’re ok. The conversation took a turn there for a bit.’ You don’t want him going to bed worrying nor do you want to be worrying about him worrying for that matter.

‘I’m ok. I knew this was going to be a challenge.’ He laughs, ‘When did people get so horny?!’

‘It’s the internet’s fault I’m sure, you wait until you meet my friend. They’ve got some stories that will knock your socks off! Until tomorrow. Night night. Sweet dreams!’

After putting down your phones you each settle into bed and pull the covers around you. Each imagining the other is there until you drift off to sleep.


	10. Two Steps Back

‘We’re going, that’s final. I am dateless this weekend and you are abandoning me on the quest for loves true kiss, it’s the least you can do.’

You’re holding the phone to your ear with your shoulder whilst putting paperwork in order.

‘Explain it to me again. You want me to go watch naked people get painted?’ 

They reply in the affirmative. You’d looked at the link they had sent you earlier that day and briefly skimmed the details.

‘Will we know anyone there? Do we have to be naked?’

‘No. And why do we need to know anyone? It’s at the Pink Flamingo, we’ll meet people there.’

‘Oh god I have a headache already!’ You tease. 

The cynical side of you was put off by the idea of shouting small talk to strangers over loud music or being man handled by over enthusiastic dancers.

‘Is this it forever now you’ve got someone?Do I need to find a Lovelink for best friends? Because I will replace you.’

‘Fuck off will you. Of course I’m coming I just need to complain about it first. It’s our thing best friend.’

You hadn’t had a night out that didn’t centre around a date in ages so this was long overdue. 

Having the freedom to just do what you want when you want to was definitely a perk of being single - especially after some of your past relationships.

‘Good. What are you going to wear? It’s got a neon theme...’

‘...I don’t know best friend, maybe I’ve got something in the back of the wardrobe.’

There’s a long pause.

‘I hate you. So much.’

‘You love me. Meet you there at 8, you’ll recognise me. I’ll look like your best friend,’ you laugh loudly.

‘Oh piss off,’ they cut the call and you continue to laugh to yourself. 

A little later you text Garrett.

*Hey! Not long until our date! Do I get any clues? Do I need to bring anything? Snorkel? Flashlight? Grappling hook!?*

The outfit you’re planning to wear is trying to give effortless style and not functional outdoors person. 

***No to all the above! And no more clues! It’s going to be a surprise!***

*Ok ☺️ I love a bit of mystery!*

***Mystery is always good for a bit of romance***

You’re trying not to give into your control freak nature and not needle for too many clues but...

*So it’s going to be romantic! 😋*

***I hope so! Now no more clues!***

*Ok! My friend feels a bit put out I’m ditching them tomorrow for a romantic..... dinner....???? Date! So we’re going out tonight!*

You wonder after you send the message why you felt the need to let him know you were going out. 

The last few days you had fallen into the rhythm of speaking to each other every night and it always made your tummy do a little flip when you saw he was calling, why did you feel you owed him an explanation.

***Ok cool! I forgot about watching the football with Robbie 😬 instead I’m going on a super SECRET romantic date! Where are you off to?***

*Oh dear! I ruined lads night! An arty, club event. Body painting, apparently. So we’re watching the football then!?*

You rest your phone down and sit back in your chair. You realise that today you are a single person - one who can just decide to go out when you wanted. Tomorrow you could commit to a relationship, with a man with a child. Responsibilities. 

***🤣 hardly lads! Wow! That sounds awesome, I knew you were cool! It’s a super secret romantic date not watching football!***

*Oh I’m not! The secret is you just find a really cool friend and follow them everywhere 🤣*

But this is what you wanted. A man who can commit, with an open heart, honest. Gorgeous. Unlike anyone you’ve ever known.

***Now I understand why Robbie is always hanging around! Because I’m so up to date with jokes and emojis and music 😬***

Funny too. 

You rub the centre of your chest where you usually feel stress building up, you only feel stillness and calm. 

*Well I think you’re amazing 😊*

***If you think I’m amazing will you go on the very revealing, this-is-me super secret romantic date I have planned for us?***

You smile at his message and know, with absolute certainty that right now there is nothing you want more than to be with him. 

*Of course!!*

***So I’ll pick you up tomorrow??***

*Perfect 😘 I’ll text you my address*

***See you tomorrow!***

*I can’t wait!*

***Bye!***

.......................................................................

Garrett sets down the popcorn and hands Amy a bowl of ice cream. She grins excitedly. He sits beside her with his own bowl and she leans against him.

‘Thank you!’ She says while eating her first bite.

‘Don’t....’ he’s about to reprimand her for speaking with her mouth full but it’s movie night! He puts his arm around her and gives her a squeeze. ‘Ready?’

‘Ready steady!’ She sings and Garrett starts the movie.

While the film plays his thoughts slip back to your earlier conversation, he looks down at Amy and kisses the top of her head. Would this be enough for you? He couldn’t remember the last time he had done something cool and spontaneous.

He feels a pang of worry starting in the pit of his stomach. He looks around and is reminded of all the memories made here, bringing Amy home. Her first steps. So much of who he was now was tied into these memories of who she was and his path was set to who she will become - he hadn’t really thought about what his life would look like other than being by her side for as long as he could be.

‘Can I have a drink please?’ Amy asks not looking away from the screen. 

Broken from his thoughts he stands, ‘Sure!’ He says brightly and goes to the kitchen to get them each a drink. 

He pulls his phone out and looks at it for a moment. He wants to talk to someone but doesn’t know who. 

His wife always knew the right answer, or at least the one that made him feel better. They shared everything, they knew each other as well as they knew themselves. 

He opens a text to Emma...

***I’m panicking***

He stares at it for a moment before pressing send. The reply comes quickly.

*Why?*

***I don’t think I can do it.***

He can feel a lump forming in his throat, he can hear Amy laughing in the next room. He tries to shake it off and pull himself together.

*OK, what’s brought this on?*

He leans against the kitchen counter.

***What can I offer them? Nights in front of the TV? I don’t go anywhere or do anything except be with Amy and work.***

He feels a tear on his cheek and wipes it away frustrated. He follows up with another text quickly.

***Not that there’s anything wrong with that. I love my life but is it enough for someone else?***

*Is that not just because you’ve not had someone you want to do things with?*

He re reads the message and thinks for a moment. Before he can reply another message arrives.

*Apart from the obvious, think, if you were to do something cool and crazy and spontaneous who would you want to do it with?*

Garrett smiles, only your face comes to mind.

***Ok. 😊***

*You realise you have opened up to me more in the past week then you have for years. It’s been like having Garrett back.*

He sighs. He had felt different, not different so much. Just, himself. 

***😬 is that a good or a bad thing?***

Thinking on it, he realises that he had had to keep going for Amy. That his feeling an absence, lonely, angry was just.... how it was. It was always just there, in the periphery of his mind. It couldn’t overwhelm him if he kept busy, his job was to be there for Amy. Had he really allowed anyone to be there for him?

*A good thing. Whatever is happening is good for you. I’d give it a chance.*

***Thank you***

Putting his phone away, he smiles to himself and goes back into the living room and sits back down.

Amy looks up at him confused.

‘What’s up?’ He looks around. ‘Oh! The drinks!’ He puts his hand to his forehead and stands again.


	11. A Chance Encounter

‘Fashionably late as always,’ you tap your watch.

As your friend approaches they spin, ‘Perfection takes time,’ they do look amazing but you’re sure that part took 10 minutes tops.

‘Look at the queue,’ you gesture behind you. They take your hand.

‘Come,’ they walk purposefully toward the door and into the club. You look around apologetically waiting for someone to call you back.

‘Ok?’ You say to yourself, and follow behind confused but don’t question it. The club is filling up and you can feel the beat of the music through your body.

You make your way toward where a crowd is forming around an artist and model. 

You watch the artist work, pushing his hair from his face he concentrates on his brush strokes, gentle but purposeful.  
He looks up at his model and the connection is apparent for anyone to see. The chemistry could set the stage on fire.

‘This is really...’

‘Hot!’ 

An unfamiliar voice says close to your ear, ‘That’s Calum Keys. He’s responsible for a lot of the art work you see around the club.’

You turn to see a face you recognise but can’t place.

‘I knew it was you’ he says with a smile and offers his hand, ‘It’s Alex. Lovelink Alex.’

You take his hand and shake it, ‘Hello Lovelink Alex! This is crazy how are you?’

Shortly before connecting with Garrett you had a brief flirtation with Alex, but you both realised quite soon you were both better off as friends.

‘I’m great! Are you here alone?’ He looks behind you and you turn to look.

‘Oh no I’m here with...’ you look around and it appears your friend has disappeared into the crowd. ‘Well. I wasn’t alone a minute ago but it appears I am now!’

You both laugh, Alex gestures behind him, ‘Let me introduce you to my buddy,’ he puts his hand to his mouth and shouts, ‘Hey! Blake!’ You follow his eye line and see the reason for your friends sudden disappearance. It’s ‘hot guy with tattoos!’

He walks over to join you and you shake hands, ‘You’re a real person!’ You say without thinking. 

Blake gives you a quizzical look then laughs, ‘Why do people always say that to me!’

Alex nudges you both, ‘Ah! Another Lovelink connection!?’

You point at Blake and back to yourself, ‘Oh! Not me! My friend, the real one I’m here with that disappeared before you came over!’ You shrug comically, ‘And I think you might be the reason why!’

A look of realisation washes over Blake’s face and he looks around. ‘Where did they go? Did they see me and run?’

‘No no! Not like that!’ You put your hand on his arm, ‘I think maybe they were embarrassed just bumping into you, like this. I’ve been teasing them that you’re a catfish I’m sorry!’ 

He smiles and pats your arm, ‘I know....’ he raises and eyebrows, ‘But I do remember you said something about giving me time and I’ll open up when I’m ready.’

Alex interjects, ‘It’s always good to know you’ve got the best friend on side.’ He pats Blake on the shoulder.

‘Give me one sec,’ you pull your phone out to see a text. 

***I’m not ready to meet him. We have to leave***

You look back up at Blake who smiles at you, ‘So you and Alex didn’t make a connection then? What’s up with that?’

‘Oh, he didn’t really get my sense of humour,’ you nudge Alex with your shoulder, ‘and that’s about 95% of what I have to offer!’ You all laugh, ‘I think you just know, you know. And I don’t want to hold someone back from finding the right one.’

Blake and Alex talk together while you open your phone again and text back.

*He’s really nice. You should come back over*

The reply comes back quickly.

***I’m too embarrassed***

You notice Blake pretending not to look at you but looking worried. 

You cuddle your phone to your chest, ‘They’re embarrassed. I think it’s a bit too out of the blue. They’ve really wanted to meet you.’

A sly smile passes over Blake’s face, ‘I think we’ve both really wanted to meet each other.’

You look at Alex who wiggles his eyebrows and back to Blake, ‘OK so we’re all on the same page about that I think!’ You all laugh. 

Alex leans in to you, ‘The peach photo,’ then rolls his eyes. You can’t help but laugh, Blake looks incredulous.

‘It’s good to get the best friends on side,’ you point to Alex and yourself.

‘Let me buy you all a drink,’ Blake points to the bar and Alex follows.

‘We’ll just have 2 cokes, please,’ Blake gives you a thumbs up and gestures for you to stay where you are.

You turn your attention back to Calum whose masterpiece has grown in size and intricacy while you were talking.

You text back

*He’s gone to the bar. Come back over you can introduce yourself when he comes back.*

***Over here***

You look up and see their face on the other side of the stage, they’re waving.

*I see you!*

***I can’t, tell them you have to go, early morning, date, then come here***

You put your phone in your pocket and return your attention to the painting, the strokes of the brush almost match to the melody of the song playing.

You’re stirred from your thoughts when you sense someone standing next to you.

‘Here’s your drinks,’ Blake hands them off to you then takes his from Alex, ‘they didn’t come back?’

You gesture with one of the drinks to where your friend was standing, ‘They’re over there. I think it’s all a bit too much. We were going to get going soon anyway I’ve got work and a date tomorrow and...’

‘The big date!’ They both shout, you look confused.

‘How do you know my business!?’ You look between the 2 of them.

Alex points a thumb at Blake, ‘He only ever talks about your friend, and they talk about you, so now I know all about both of you!’ He takes a sip of his drink.

‘And yet I had no idea that you knew each other,’ you start to feel a bit guilty, ‘have I been a bad friend?’

‘No! Blake just doesn’t open up, he’s got to work on that. Your friend is doing an amazing job of thawing his ice cold heart. If they came over I’d kiss them myself!’ 

You look over to where they are and wish they could hear this for themselves.

Blake leans towards you, ‘You go to them, I’m not going to make them see me tonight. We’ll make ourselves scarce. We’re just waiting for Calum to finish. Tell them we’ll speak later if they like, or tomorrow?’

‘OK,’ you shrug then give each other a one armed hug and then you do the same to Alex. ‘It’s was great to meet you!’

‘Good luck for tomorrow night!’ He says, ‘I’m looking forward to hearing the details!’ He winks and you roll your eyes and weave through the crowd to find your friend.

‘He bought you a drink,’ you pass it to them, ‘he says you can talk later or tomorrow. He’s not going to make you meet him tonight.’

You watch their shoulders drop, ‘He must think I’m so pathetic. Who was that he was with?’

You explain who Alex is and ask why they hadn’t mentioned they were friends.

‘I didn’t know they were friends. I don’t think I really know a lot about him at all!’ You put your arm around them and squeeze them tight.

‘Firstly, he knew exactly who you were when I said it was a Lovelink connection, secondly Alex said he was so grateful for you thawing his icy heart he’d kiss you himself.’ They smile and squeeze you back.

‘You wanted dark and brooding you got dark and brooding.’ You continue, ‘He likes you. That’s pretty clear.’

‘OK I want to know everything. What does he smell like? How did he look when you were talking about me?’

You roll your eyes, ‘Let’s talk about this when we get home, let’s have our drinks, have a dance. Look at some more bodies! Look! There’s someone down there painting people on the dance floor! Let’s go!’

You each get a pattern painted on your arms that glows neon under the lights, you join the throng of people on the dance floor throwing theirs painted arms up and moving to the music.

You look over to see Calum and his model dancing, completely wrapped up in each other.

You friend puts their hands on your waist and says into your ear, ‘Do you think we’ll ever have chemistry like that?’

You turn round and pull a fake shocked look, ‘We don’t already!?’ You laugh and hug them and you jump together round in a circle before swaying in a hug.

‘Yes of course, we’re amazing!’ You both continue to dance, you catch sight of Blake at the edge of the crowd, watching you both and smiling. He gives you a little thumbs up.

Your fun is disturbed by your phone vibrating. You look to see a call from your boss. You tap your friend on the shoulder and gesture to the side of the dance floor.

You have several texts and missed calls. 

*Urgent. Read your emails. No read receipt from you.*

You roll your eyes and check your email.

‘We have to go,’ you say dejected, ‘apparently we have an important visit tomorrow and I have to be at work early.’

You check the time, it’s only 10.30. Your friend pouts but links your arm and you head for the door.

When you get back to your place they jump in the shower while you get your things ready for the morning and drink some water.

You know it’s late but you text Garrett.

*Home safe and sound. ❤️*

***How was it? Is it too late to call?***

You smile, taking your phone into the bathroom you start to run a bath. Looking in the mirror you admire the artwork on your arms for a moment.

*2 minutes*

You add some bubbles and step in, washing the paint from your arms before dialling Garretts number. He picks up after the first ring.

‘Hey!’ He says excitedly.

‘Hey you!’ You smile, ‘I don’t think anyone has been as happy to hear from me as you!’

‘Sorry, too keen?’ He replies shyly, ‘where are you? You’re very echoey?’

You splash the water a little, ‘In the bath, I hope you don’t mind?’

‘Oh!’ He clears his throat, ‘Yea, that’s cool. Of course.’

‘Well. I wouldn’t be able to hear you very well if I was in the shower. And I don’t think my phone would appreciate it either!’ You both laugh.

‘It’s just.... interesting.... to think that you’re naked on the other end of the phone,’ he says quietly.

‘How do you know I haven’t been naked all the other times we’ve spoken?’ You match his tone.

He is quiet for a moment. ‘But... you weren’t wet... those times.... that I know of.’ His voice a little husky.

‘Mr Brown if this is going to turn into a dirty phone call I’m going to have to move somewhere a little more comfortable,’ you laugh gently and start to stand.

‘Stay where you are. I’m enjoying the mental image,’ he says purposefully which sends a shiver down your spine.

You say nothing and wait for him to speak again, not sure where the conversation is headed.

‘So how was your night?’ He says his tone returning to normal.

‘It was a lot of fun, we watched some of the painting and even had our arms done, they looked amazing under the lights! I have a picture, would you like to see?’ 

‘Of course!’ He says and you send over a picture you’d had taken of you both striking model poses looking off into the distance. ‘Ravishing, as always,’ he says with a twinkle in his voice and a laugh.

‘Why thank you,’ you reply in your most sultry voice.

‘And it’s nice to put a face to a name of that ultra cool friend of yours!’ 

‘As cool as you expected?’ 

‘Well. I was expecting shades and a leather jacket but you can’t have everything,’ he laughs. 

‘I apologise that I’m not friends with The Fonz, is that a deal breaker?’ You laugh together. ‘How was your night?’

‘It was great! Amy and I had a movie night, we’re working our way through the Toy Story movies!’

‘Wow! That sounds perfect, permission to crash the next one?’

‘Ok I’m getting out of the bath now. It’s getting a little cold,’ you get out and wrap a towel around yourself. ‘I don’t know if I told you but I have a hot date tomorrow, I’d best get to bed I’d prefer to be at my best!’ 

‘A hot date huh? Who got lucky enough to score a date with you?’ He asks teasingly.

‘Oh wow. You wouldn’t believe how lucky I got. He’s romantic, sweet, honest and so gorgeous he doesn’t even know it!’ 

‘He sounds great! I hope he lives up to your expectations,’ he laughs nervously.

‘Already surpassed,’ you stretch and a yawn escapes.

‘I can’t wait to see you!’ You smile.

‘Good night.’


	12. The First Date (MC)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve taken the risk of showing my age in this one, I apologise. This chapter shows the date from MCs point of view, the next chapter from Garretts. Each has the same dialogue from the date just different reactions/interpretations of the same moments.

Work drags, you’d arrived early with an emailed list of demands to make sure everything is perfect for a visit from head office.

You’d made sure there was coffee and tea. Gave the store a look over, tidied any corners, straightened any edges. 

It didn’t seem like you had much to do but you’re still working when others start to arrive at 8.30 for the morning meeting.

Your email gave instructions on what to cover that morning, specific phrases to use in case you were observed. 

You do as you are told but no one arrives until lunch time where you are presented with a vague instruction to get something nice for lunch, your choice, but a list of things it could not be.

Your face aches from pulling your best people pleasing smile, you’ve exhausted every tired, cliched phrase.

You counted the seconds as the clock edged towards 6. You’d not been able to check your phone, your stomach has been doing somersaults between excitement about the date and worry that he’d get cold feet and cancel. 

You’d allowed your mind to drift at points in the day to rehearse in your head what you would say when you first saw him. 

Worked through scenarios, if it was really awkward, if you had nothing to say. If he was nervous, if you were nervous. Whether you would just jump on him at your door and drag him inside and.... 

‘Wow is that the time?!’ One of the visitors exclaims as most of staff mill around with their coats and bags ready to leave for the day. 

You’d been clenching your teeth since the clock hit six desperate to sprint out the door, working out in your head how much time you had to shower and change if you left at 6.15, 6.30.... 

...you don’t bother to change into your cycling gear, you grab your bag, pull on your helmet and cycle away as fast as you can to avoid explaining why you weren’t using your company car.

You’re through the door at 7 and dump everything on the floor of the hall and start removing clothing. 

‘Hello!’ a voice comes from the sleeping bag cocoon on your sofa that has replaced your friend.

‘No time, fucking arseholes...’ you fumble pulling your arms from your shirt and throwing it to the floor.

‘You need a new job mate,’ the cocoon shouts after you. If only it were that simple.

You jump in the shower and take some deep breaths. In through the nose..... out through the mouth. You need to leave the bad vibes in the shower. ‘Oh damnit!’ You shout, you hadn’t even checked your phone. 

You quickly wash and jump out running into the hall grasping a towel around you to retrieve your phone. 

‘Eurgh please. Save it for later,’ a disgusted voice shouts from it’s position in front of the TV.

‘If you’d ever go to your own home I could just run around naked if I wanted,’ you shout.

‘I am in a delicate state, I needed to feel safe in a tidy space. Besides,’ the voice follows after you into your room, ‘you’ve got ice cream!’

You check your phone, no calls or messages. A good sign? You throw your phone on your bed, pull your outfit from your wardrobe and lay it out.

‘Try again,’ you say aloud, close your eyes and breathe in and out slowly.

You hear your bedroom door open, ‘Oh for fuck sake my eyes!’ 

You’d lost your towel somewhere along the way, you didn’t have the time to care. The cocoon dramatically throws them self on your bed shielding their eyes. 

‘Why are you in here?’ You start pulling on your clothes.

‘For moral support,’ they say from behind their hands, ‘you’re amazing, you’re amazing. You look great. Yes queen,’ they say in a dead pan voice.

‘Well. I feel positively buoyed by your enthusiasm, thank you friend.’ You turn to look in the mirror and run your hands over your outfit. 

‘You could turn up in this sleeping bag and he would sweep you off your feet,’ the longer you look in the mirror the more fear creeps in. You feel your stomach knot and tears come to your eyes.

You look over at your friend and feel your chin start to wobble, ‘What’s wrong you daft thing?’ They walk over to you and put their hands either side of your face.

‘It’s just....’ you start and the words catch, you let out a frustrated growl, ‘I wanted this to be perfect and I’m worked up. And annoyed.’ 

‘Let me get you a drink,’ you screw up your face, ‘not a big one a little one.’ They leave the room, you check your eyes in the mirror and fan your face which has become red and hot.

They return shortly with a something and coke for each of you and sit on the edge of the bed, you join them and take a sip. 

‘So what’s this get up all about?’ You gesture with your drink to the sleeping bag cocoon.

‘Just wallowing in self pity after last night,’ they brush imaginary crumbs from themselves.

‘Do I have any ice cream left?’ They look down at the floor and back up with the best puppy dog eyes they can manage, ‘well, my date better go well or you are making a late night trip my friend.’

You put your drink down and give yourself a shake, ‘I feel better, thank you.’

You stand again and look yourself over in the mirror, before remembering, ‘Have you actually spoken to Blake today?’

Your friend pulls the sleeping bag over their head, ‘No.... I haven’t looked at my phone I’m too scared.’

‘I’m going to need you to at some point because if my soul is about to be sucked into an ancient artefact I’d like to be able to rely on you for help and not get your answer machine.’ You poke the sleeping bag person.

A muffled voice comes from within, ‘I’m going to, I just have to be dramatic first.’

‘Oh my! How unlike you!’ You say sarcastically. You look at the time and a wave of nerves washes over you. ‘I haven’t felt like this in ages. I’m a mess!’

‘You don’t look like one,’ the sleeping bag creature emerges, ‘what can I do to help?’

You think for a moment looking down at your hands, ‘Nothing, thanks. Be here later in case something goes wrong?’

‘I can stay as long as you don’t feel compelled to run around naked later,’ you laugh a little.

You hear your phone vibrate against the bed. Your heart jumps into your throat. You slowly reach for it.

***Hey! I’m outside!***

You look up at your friend, ‘He’s downstairs. Right now.’

You both scream as you stand to give yourself another look in the mirror.

‘How do I look?’ You hold your arms out to the side and turn.

‘Like a million dollars baby,’ your friend stands and gives you a hug, before smacking you on the butt, ‘Go get ‘em tiger!’

You text Garrett back quickly...

*I’m coming right down!*

You grab your coat and check your pockets to make sure you have everything.

***See you in a sec!***

You check yourself in the hall mirror and smooth down your clothes one more time, taking a deep breath you make your way downstairs.

When you get outside you pull the front door closed and turn slowly until your eyes meet his and you can’t stop the smile spreading across your face.

You give him a little wave, and make your way toward him. He’s smiling back at you holding a bouquet of roses. He looks amazing, but you can’t look away from his eyes.

‘Wow, you’re breathtaking’ he says as you get closer. You look down at yourself and back at him resisting the urge to make a joke. 

You look at the flowers he’s holding and he nervously hands them to you. You take hold of the bouquet in both hands and deeply inhale their scent. 

‘I love roses,’ you say shyly and look back up at him. He’s even taller than you imagined. 

‘I thought you might!’ He smiles. You take a step back and take him all in. He looks gorgeous. You move closer to him and run a hand down the lapel of his jacket, you notice him tense nervously.

‘You look amazing.’

You can tell he doesn’t know what to say. He looks down at the floor and shakes his head before looking up at you, ‘You look perfect, I’m sorry. I’m so nervous!’

‘So am I, we can be nervous together!’ You see his shoulders relax, ‘So, the suspense is killing me, what’s the plan?’

He gives you a cheeky smile and gestures towards his car, ‘Your chariot awaits,’ and he opens the passenger side door for you. 

A hybrid, naturally, you’d expect nothing less. You make yourself comfortable and he closes the door behind you before making his way round to the driver side. 

You hug your roses into you and allow yourself an excited squeal before he gets in.

‘All set?’ He smiles at you and you smile back. It takes everything in your power not to reach out and touch his face. 

‘All set,’ you look at each other for a moment longer before Garrett starts the car. As he does the radio comes on louder than you both expect, you both jump and he scrambles to turn it down. 

He looks horrified, ‘I’m so sorry I didn’t expect that to happen!’ He runs a hand through his hair. 

You laugh, ‘Someone was taking advantage of having the car to themselves!’

You notice Garrett blush and sag into his seat, ‘I’m so embarrassed!’

You pull out an imaginary notebook and pretend to make a note, ‘Garrett likes to rock out in his car when he’s alone,’ he laughs.

‘What you got there?’ He looks over as of trying to see what you’re writing.

‘It’s my notes from this evening, about the real you, I don’t want to miss anything,’ you mime putting the pen away, ‘Admittedly I didn’t expect getting to know you would be so loud!’

‘I promise that’s as loud as it gets,’ he relaxes.

‘Noted,’ you raise an eyebrow at him. He winks at you and laughs before he sets off.

You sit quietly for a moment looking out the window, you catch Garretts reflection in the window stealing glances at you which makes you smile. 

The radio is on low but you start to hear a familiar melody which catches Garretts attention too, he turns it up slightly and you watch as he nods his head and smiles.

‘Oasis fan, noted,’ he looks at you sideways, ‘I’m more into Blur but you know if that’s your thing.’ You shrug.

‘Is this going to be our first fight? A Britpop battle?’ The conversation has made him more animated, he sounds more like he does on the phone. Relaxed, which is what you wanted.

‘Tell me one Oasis song better than Song 2?’ Garrett goes to say something and you hold up your hand to stop him, ‘You can’t say Wonderwall!’ You point at him and he clasps a hand to his chest.

‘Champagne Supernova,’ he looks at you sideways whilst watching the road. 

‘Hmmmm....’ you look out the window again.

He nudges you, ‘Was that an acceptable answer?’ 

‘I will allow it,’ you both laugh, a little less tense than before.

‘So.... can you play Wonderwall on the guitar?’ You ask. A sly smile creeps over his face.

You turn your body to face him, ‘Please say that’s a yes!’

He slows to a stop and turns the car off, he turns to you, ‘My answer depends on whether or not you would find that impressive?’ A flirty look plays over his face.

‘I find a lot of things about you impressive,’ you hold your flowers in front of your face to hide the fact you’re blushing.

‘Well then, yes I can,’ he says while undoing his seatbelt and opening his door. ‘We’re here!’

You leave your flowers on the seat and close your door taking a moment to check yourself over.

Garrett waits for you on the pavement, you look beyond him to a tall impressive building you recognise.

‘This is where you work?’ You look at him for confirmation as you walk to stand next to him.

‘Well. I thought if you want to know me then you have to understand why I love what I do!’ His eyes search your face for your reaction. 

You look at the building then back to him and smile, ‘I can’t wait!’

He gestures toward a side door and lets himself in with his keys, he holds the door open for you and you slip inside. 

It’s so quiet, you look around the large expanse of the museum warehouse. It’s darker than you thought it would be so you stand close to Garrett.

You look past him and see the start of a trail of petals leading back further into the building, he follows your eye line, ‘Oh, they’re always there,’ he grins and leads you into the dark.

You clasp your hands together in front of you not quite sure what to do other than follow him. ‘You really have thought of everything!’ He turns back to you with a smile. 

‘I wanted to impress you,’ he says as you move into a darker section of the hall. You hold your hands out ahead of you. You’re not sure where Garrett is in front of you.

You feel a little uneasy, you hear his voice ahead of you, ‘Are you ok?’ 

‘Erm...’ you slowly and carefully move toward his voice, ‘I think so!’ 

‘It’s just over here!’ You follow his voice toward the light ahead where the warehouse opens up to reveal wooden crates piled high.

You look around you trying to take it all in, it feels like a collision of worlds, the beautiful facade of the museum to the practical warehouse space. There are things everywhere you’re not sure where to concentrate.

You turn to see Garrett watching you, he is beaming with excitement and he looks so beautiful to you in his element. He looks confident, more assured, relaxed.

You realise that you’re staring and that he’s noticed, your feel your face start to grow hot and cover it with your hands. 

You spin on the spot laughing nervously avoiding eye contact with him, ‘This is amazing.... all the important precious things stored here,’ you look over your shoulder at him.

‘I was hoping you’d say that, I have something I want to show you!’ He holds his hand out for you to take, you look at it before reaching out to him. 

You place your hand in his and you lace your fingers together. You’re heart starts to thump in your chest, he takes a deep breath and you wonder if he feels it too.

He leads you over to a crate from which he retrieves a ancient scroll which he lays out in front of you, he steps back and gestures for you to look.

‘Voiles,’ he looks at you expectantly and you move closer. 

You whisper, ‘Is this where I read something aloud and my soul is sucked into the netherworld?’ 

He moves behind you and brushes the tips of his fingers on the backs of your hands which are at your sides. He laughs, ‘No,’ he whispers close to your ear which sends a shiver down your spine. ‘You’re the first person outside of me and the museum director to see this in over 2000 years.’

You turn your head to look at him, he is looking at the scroll over your shoulder, ‘And you chose to show it to me?’ 

He turns to you bringing your faces close, ‘Cool huh?’ He turns backs to the scroll seemingly not noticing how close you are while you are finding it hard to control your breathing.

‘It’s amazing, do you know what’s written in it?’

He puts his hands on your hips, ‘A Greek myth totally unknown for thousands of years! We’re still deciphering it but when we do, you’ll be the first to know!’ 

You look down at the floor then up at him, ‘Thank you, I’d love that!’

He continues, ‘I used to show these discoveries to...’ he cuts himself off. You know what he was going to say and why he stopped himself. You reach out to him to reassure him, you want him to know it’s ok but before you can say anything he walks away from you.

‘I bought some wine!’ He says brightly and starts to fumble with the bottle. You hadn’t noticed the makings of a picnic at the end of the trail of rose petals.

You pick up the blanket folded neatly and lay it out on the ground. You peak in the bag, ‘Would you like some help with this?’

‘No, no, just make yourself comfortable,’ he smiles as he works to open the bottle.

You sit on the blanket and once he has poured the wine he joins you and places the bag down. He starts to unload it looking a little flustered.

You place what you hope is a reassuring hand on his arm, ‘Hey,’ you say softly, he looks up at you. You raise your hand to his face and stroke his cheek with your thumb, ‘I’m having a great time.’ 

He puts his hand on top of yours and lifts it away, he turns and kisses your palm, ‘I just really want to impress you.’

You lace your fingers with his, ‘You have. You do.’ 

‘Ok,’ he smiles, he still appears unconvinced.

‘While you’re doing that shall I find some music to play?’ He unlocks his phone and passes it to you.

You look at him with disbelief, ‘The connection is terrible down here, I’m on the WiFi,’ he says matter of factly.

Your look was more of shock that he just gave you his phone without a hint of hesitation.

You open a music app and search for the perfect playlist, ‘Maybe something classical, it will fit with the surroundings?’ Garrett looks up and smiles distractedly.

You try to hide your smile as the first notes of the song starts to play, you wait for Garrett to notice. 

You watch a confused look cross his face, until he realises, ‘You didn’t,’ he laughs and pulls you onto his lap and cuddles you. 

‘Mind the wine!’ You shout and you both fall about laughing.

‘I can’t believe you played Wonderwall, I suppose you think you’re funny don’t you!’ He makes a tickling motion on your back.

You stick your tongue out and pass Garrett his glass of wine and raise yours, ‘Eye contact for cheers otherwise it’s 7 years bad sex,’ Garrett raises his eyebrow at you.

‘Did you make that up?’ He laughs.

‘Are you willing to take the chance?’ 

You raise your eyebrow and you cheers your glasses.

You take a sip and the flavour explodes in your mouth. ‘You know your wine,’ he squeezes you a little tighter.

‘Try the cheese,’ he offers you a piece and you moan as it melts in your mouth. 

‘They go really well together, excellent choice,’ he glows at the compliment.

‘I don’t think they’re the only ones,’ he smiles and presses his lips to your shoulder. ‘I haven’t seen you make any notes,’ he teases.

You tap the side of your head, ‘It’s all up here,’ you hesitate a moment, ‘hey, I know I joke a lot but, I’m totally serious about this.’

‘Me too.’ He says, his eyes move from yours to your lips and back. 

This is the moment, you can feel it. You shift to face him, as he moves closer to you. His nose brushes yours and you can feel his breath against your lips.

Just as you expect your lips to touch Garrett makes a frustrated groan and rests his forehead against yours. 

You place your hands on his chest and can feel his heart is pounding. You stay like that for a moment until he pulls away and runs a hand through his hair. 

He looks vulnerable. Not the confident guy you’d seen flashes of this evening. You pass him his glass of wine and he gives you a weak smile. 

‘I didn’t even ask how your day was?’ You offer him some cheese, he shakes his head, ‘oh! And what does Amy make of all this? Have you told her?’

He brightens slightly at her name, ‘Oh! She doesn’t believe you’re real,’ he laughs and you look at him confused, ‘I explained to her that I’d made a friend I really like and we were meeting for the first time and she thinks I’ve made you up. Like an imaginary friend.’

‘She is sort of right I suppose, meeting people online is a funny concept really. People don’t always feel real until you meet them.’ You give him an encouraging smile.

‘Would you like to see a picture of her?’ You realise that you hadn’t seen one before, she was the most important aspect of Garretts life and you don’t know what she looks like.

‘Of course!’ You say and Garretts smile grows. He opens his photo gallery and swipes through picture after picture. He tells you a little story about each one. 

You look from the pictures to his face and see the love and pride shine from it. 

You rest your head on his shoulder. ‘Too much?’ He pauses his story.

‘Not at all!’ You lift your head to smile at him. ‘We should take a picture together, to show Amy I’m real!’

‘Ok!’ He sits up straight and puts an arm around you. You lean into him and smile at the camera. ‘That should do it,’ he looks at the picture for a moment then puts his phone away. 

‘I should probably get you home, it’s getting late,’ he stands and offers you his hand. You take it and he helps you up. 

He quietly gathers up the bag as you fold the blanket and hand it to him. He smiles shyly, ‘You didn’t have to do that.’

‘Team work makes the dream work!’ You wink and gesture to the petals. ‘What about those?’ 

‘Don’t worry, I’ve arranged something, I know someone who works here you see,’ he taps his nose.

‘Power and influence huh? Impressive,’ you link your arm in his.

‘Oh yes, his names Terry he’s the warehouse supervisor, I slipped him a tenner and told him not to ask any questions,’ you both laugh and start walking to the exit.

‘Like a fixah,’ you say in a thick London accent.

Garrett laughs loudly, ‘Don’t ask questions right?’ He points at you with a grin.

‘You never struck me as someone with underworld connections,’ you squeeze his arm.

‘Hardly! I really just asked him nicely if he wouldn’t mind.....’ you catch each other’s eye and double over laughing.

Once you are outside Garrett locks up and you walk back to the car. You’re sad the evening is coming to an end and it seems as if neither of you really knows what to say.

He puts the blanket and what remains of the picnic into the boot of the car and walks round to open your door.

You smile and say thank you, just as you start to get into your seat you touches your arm.

‘Hey,’ he says quietly, you stand up out of the car again, ‘just before we drive away and the evening ends. I just want to, say it as I couldn’t show it,’ he shrugs, ‘I really like you.’

‘I really like you too,’ you reach and tug on his jacket suddenly shy. ‘This was your first, first date in a long time. That’s a big deal!’

He looks down at the floor and you try to catch his eye again to reassure him. 

‘I had an amazing time. I would like to see you again, if you’d like that too?’ He smiles and nods, ‘You ready to go?’

‘Ready steady,’ he says and taps the car door. You get in and he closes it behind you.

The drive back is quiet, you hold hands the whole way. It feels like there is a lot to say but neither of you say it. As you start to notice the roads and homes close to yours you start to feel sad the night is over.

When he stops the car he squeezes your hand and you look at each other for a long moment. 

He breaks the silence, ‘I don’t want you to go.’ 

‘That’s a good sign,’ you say quietly, ‘but you should get home.’

He nods, ‘Speak to you tomorrow?’ 

‘Of course.’ You let go of his hand and let yourself out of the car. You cuddle your flowers to you as you walk to your door. You turn to wave and notice he waits until you’re safely inside before driving away. 

You stand in the entrance, holding your flowers close. You don’t know how you feel. Disappointed? A little. You’d imagined kissing him so often that it felt strange to have been so close and yet so far. 

But you feel, you hope, that this is just the beginning of something special.


	13. The First Date (Garrett)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: description of panic.

Garrett places down Amy’s dinner, ‘You’re sure you’re ok with me going out tonight?’ He asks as she takes her place at the table and he sits next to her.

‘Yes! It’s going to be fun! Can I stay up until you come home?’ She asks excitedly.

‘I don’t know how late I’ll be, you might get too sleepy,’ she shakes her head.

‘No I won’t. I’m really good at staying awake,’ he ruffles her hair.

‘I think it might be a good idea for you to have a good night sleep and I can tell you all about it in the morning.’ He watches her eyebrows furrow as she thinks about it.

‘But I’m too excited, I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep. I want to know that they’re a real person,’ she takes a bite of her food.

‘Why do you say that?’ 

‘Because at school they say you shouldn’t talk to people on the internet because they might not be who they say they are. And if someone is talking to you, you should tell a grown up,’ she looks at him seriously. ‘And you don’t have a grown up to tell so you need to tell me.’

He thinks about this for a moment, ‘OK. We’ll see, I won’t be out for long anyway I’m sure and I’ll have my phone with me, so you can check in if you like.’

‘I know!’ She says as the doorbell rings. He goes to open it and let’s the nanny in. 

‘Hey Amy!’ She calls, ‘Hey Garrett,’ she nods. 

‘She’s just eating dinner if you want to go through,’ he smiles and checks his watch, he should probably jump in the shower. 

‘Amy, I’m just in the bathroom if you need me!’ He calls to her.

‘OK!’ She calls, he hears her say, ‘Daddy’s getting dressed up, he’s meeting someone from the internet. He doesn’t know if they’re real or not.’

He shakes his head and stands in the doorway to the dining room, ‘They are real Amy!’ He looks at the nanny, ‘They are real.’ He shrugs.

He turns to head to the bathroom and the doorbell rings again, confused he opens it.

‘Alright mate?’ Says Robbie on the doorstep, awkwardly holding a carrier bag.

‘Alright? I did tell you I was going out tonight right?’ Garrett says confused. 

‘Yea, yea. I thought I’d come for some moral support. I bought some bits,’ he gestures with the bag.

‘Come in, come in, I was about to have a shower,’ Robbie follows Garrett inside and waves to Amy.

‘You ok in there buddy?’ He calls from the hall, Amy waves back enthusiastically.

‘Hey Uncle Robbie! Are you going out too? Did you know Daddy was talking to someone on the internet?’ She looks at him concerned.

‘You should be eating your dinner Miss,’ Garrett calls, ‘I bought pudding if you finish up.’

‘I’ll talk to you when you’ve finished, I’m just going to talk to your dad about internet strangers,’ Amy nods and Robbie turns to Garrett. 

He pushes the carrier bag into Garretts arms and he peaks inside. 

‘They all say large so don’t get flattered,’ Robbie pats his arm. 

‘Why?’ Garrett says in a hard whisper. 

‘Just.... come on,’ Robbie walks into Garretts bedroom, ‘I’m looking out for you, that’s all. I dunno, what do mates do in these situations.’

‘And you decided buying condoms was the best idea?’ Garrett pulls them from the bag, ‘30 of them?’

‘Well, there’s 2 boxes there I wasn’t sure if you were an Extra Safe or a Thin Feel kinda guy so.’ Garrett doesn’t know what to say, he knows Robbies heart is in the right place, ‘Don’t make it weird.’ Robbie says to fill the silence.

‘Pretty fucking weird already mate to be fair,’ they both laugh, ‘thank you. I think. I will probably be leaving them here.’

‘Well, take a few out and put the boxes away somewhere, might be a bit intense, they come back here and bosh, out comes 30 of them.’ 

‘Oh yea hey, my mate Robbie bought these for me because he thinks I’ve forgotten how a penis works,’ he punches him in the arm, ‘I don’t think I’ve ever felt this awkward in your company.’

‘If nothing else it’s a funny story for later. Look. I’m just worried about you. This is a lot to take on and it’s moving fast,’ he shrugs. ‘I’m trying, I want to do the right thing to help you.’

Garrett reaches out to Robbie and they have an awkward hug, back pat. ‘I know,’ he pauses thoughtfully, ‘Do you know what I like about them best? They don’t treat me like I’m made of glass. They treat me like I’m a grown man.’

‘Are you trying to say....’ Garrett holds up his hands to stop him.

‘It’s not a criticism of you. It’s an observation. I know everyone is doing their best to be there for me, it’s been terrible and I appreciate it. But, I need help to be me again.’ Almost immediately Garrett regrets the outburst. He feels like he’s hurt his friends feelings. ‘I’m still here.’

‘But mate, you don’t talk about things. You’ll go to say something and then clam up. I can only talk for myself but, I’m worried one day this is all going to hit you. That this is a nice distraction for now but when you really let yourself think about it...’ he trails off. 

Garrett sits on the edge of his bed, ‘I know what you mean. I find myself waiting after every time I speak to them for something to happen. To feel guilty or angry or, I don’t know. Anything I’ve tried not to feel and it hasn’t happened. That’s why I keep moving forward.’

Robbie sits down next to him, ‘I’m going to say this. Just so I’ve said it out loud. You know how when you stretch a piece of elastic too far it can snap back and hit you in the face? If you feel some resistance, step back.’

He pats Garretts leg, ‘Am I making a mistake?’ Garrett asks.

‘I can’t answer that, you know that.’ Robbie shrugs. 

‘Are you alright to check Amy has finished her dinner I’m going to have a shower,’ Garrett says flatly. Robbie pats him on the back and leaves the room. 

After his shower he fixes his hair and puts some oil through his beard. He gives his face a good look over and takes a deep breath, closing his eyes. He just has to say hello and take it from there.

His stomach is in knots with nerves, he breathes out deeply, and it didn’t seem to be getting any easier. What if he can’t think of anything to say? Another deep breath in, he leaves the bathroom and pulls on his trousers, deep breath out. 

What if it was really awkward? Another deep breath in.

There’s a knock on the door and Robbie pokes his head round, ‘Amy is looking for her pudding,’ Garrett finishes pulling on his socks and strides out of the room.

‘Would you like a yoghurt or chocolate mousse?’ He calls from the kitchen, Robbie follows in, ‘She wants choc.... dude. Put a shirt on.’ 

‘Oh! I’m so sorry. I didn’t think,’ he grabs a tea towel and covers himself with it. 

‘Not for me for’ he nods his head in the direction of the dining room, ‘old goo goo eyes in there.’ Hinting about their nanny, ‘Give me it. I’ll save your blushes. You’re so fucking dense sometimes.’ He sarcastically rolls his eyes.

Garrett returns to his room and pulls on his shirt and looks in the mirror. Not bad. He grabs two ties and walks to the dining room and holds them up. 

‘Which one should I wear?’ 

Robbie pulls a face, ‘Are you going on a date or going to prom?’ 

‘I think you look handsome,’ Amy smiles. 

‘Thank you sweetie,’ Garrett smiles back then looks at Robbie, ‘thoughts?’

‘It’s not a job interview, don’t wear a tie. Just open a couple of buttons,’ Garrett opens his top few buttons then puts his arms out to the side. ‘That’s it. It’s a bit more relaxed, casual.’

‘You don’t think it makes me look like.... a guy..... who might have a moustache.... and make..... special films,’ Garrett looks at Robbie wide eyed.

‘It’s a tough one with all that chest hair but I think the lack of a gold chain saves it.’

Garrett goes to the hall and pulls on his jacket, he returns for approval, ‘Ok so,’ he brushes himself down, ‘this is it.’

‘You look like a gentleman,’ their nanny says. 

‘Thank you,’ he nods puffing out his chest. ‘Amy?’

‘Yes. I like it. You look like a man who lives in a castle,’ she says matter of factly.

‘Like, a king or a prince?’

‘No.... just a man,’ she finishes her dessert. ‘Can I watch TV now?’

Robbie laughs, ‘Just a man! That kid is priceless.’

Amy skips off into the living room and puts on the TV. 

‘She wants to stay up until I get home but best let her watch a little TV then get ready for bed,’ Garrett says to their nanny, ‘Play it by ear though, it’s Saturday tomorrow so if it’s a little late it won’t be so bad.’ 

He rocks on his heels awkwardly. ‘I think I’m ready a bit too early.’

‘You want a drink?’ Robbie stands.

‘I’ve got some wine to have later, probably best not to if I’m driving,’ he pats his legs and then starts to ring his hands together.

Robbie grabs Garretts arm and pulls him to the kitchen, ‘This is painful!’

Garrett winces and shrugs his shoulders, ‘I am so effing nervous.’ He holds his hands out in front of himself and they shake slightly. 

‘How do you usually get pumped up for something?’ 

‘Errr.... I’ve got my playlist, I usually listen to it loud when I really need to get my head straight,’ he shakes his arms as if trying to shake the nerves away. 

He glances up at the clock, ‘It’s nearly time to go.’ He paces up and down the length of the kitchen. ‘What did we used to do before dates?’

‘Smoke cigarettes and drink cider in the park,’ Robbie shrugs, ‘I think we were 17 the last time you went on a first date.’

Garrett shakes his head, ‘Oh god my moves are going to be so old.’

‘You’re assuming you had moves in the first place?’ Robbie stands hunched with his arms at his side and says in a high pitched voice, ‘Alright, you’re fit. Fancy a snog?’

Garrett laughs and punches his arm, effecting a ‘cool guy’ stance, ‘Hey. I play football. Look at my muscles.’

‘It worked didn’t it?’ He points to his wedding ring. ‘I was smooth!’

‘Smoooooooooth,’ Garrett laughs. ‘I think I might just go now. Be early. Just wait in the car.’

‘Oh, yea. Nothing less creepy than a 6’ man sitting alone in a car, on a road he doesn’t live, with a child seat in the back without a child in it,’ Robbie shrugs.

Garrett holds his arms out, ‘You might have a point there,’ he walks out of the kitchen, ‘and I’m 6’2.... by the way.’

‘Ok. Let’s split the difference, 5’11,’ Robbie follows, ‘If you don’t need anything else I’ll get going.’ 

Garrett looks at himself in the hall mirror, ‘I look alright yea?’

‘I wouldn’t kick you out of bed,’ Robbie winks, pulling Garrett into a hug and patting him on the back. ‘Call me if you need me. I’ll be keeping an eye on my phone. Be safe.’

‘Cheers,’ Garrett walks him to the door. Robbie hesitates.

‘You sure you’re alright?’ He holds Garretts arm.

‘Yes. Right now I am.’

Robbie raises his arm in a salute and Garrett closes the door. He checks the time again, he could leave now and not be too early. He walks to the living room to say goodbye to Amy, she transfixed by her programme as he kisses her forehead.

‘Bye Daddy, love you,’ she murmurs without looking away.

‘Love you,’ he says as he kisses her forehead again and she pushes him out of the way.

He grabs his keys and his wallet and checks his pockets, he counts down in his head 3... 2.... 1 before walking out the front door and closing it behind him.

Jumping in the car and turning it on he syncs his playlist and cranks up the volume. As the first song starts to play he drums the beat on the steering wheel.

The Sat Nav cuts in over the music and he laughs at hearing his own singing voice over the directions at every turn. 

When he pulls up outside he’s 10 minutes early. He turns off the car and looks up at the block of apartments and wonder which window is yours. 

‘These are nice,’ he thinks. Not like the flats he had lived in when he was first married. He smiles thinking about how awful the wallpaper was and how small their TV was - it was a combi with a built in video player that he’d had in his bedroom at his parents.

He straightens the bouquet of flowers sitting in the front seat. He was so pleased with them, the florist commented that he was beaming as he paid. 

His phone vibrates with a text...

*Ready for lift off! Good luck!*

Emma had promised to stay behind to make sure everything was set up. He owed her big time. 

5 minutes early. It’s good to be a bit early - shows that you’re keen? 

‘It’s now or never,’ he says aloud and sends a text.

***Hey! I’m outside!***

He steps out of the car taking the flowers with him. ‘Should I lean against the door?’ He thinks. He leans back then decides he looks too casual, he stands up straight. ‘Should I open my jacket?’ He pops them open with one hand, then puts his hand in his trouser pocket and leans onto one leg.

*I’m coming right down!*

***See you in a sec!***

He rereads your text and a heavy weight of nerves hits his stomach. ‘Oh god,’ he thinks, ‘Oh god oh god, I should close my jacket.’

He is fiddling one handed closing his jacket buttons when you open the door, you turn just as he finishes smoothing his jacket down and catch his eyes.

‘Oh... wow.... there they are,’ he thinks.

He can’t help but smile as you start to walk over, he wants to take all of you in but he can’t look away from your eyes. They have the sparkle he’d imagined every time you’d laughed on the phone.

‘Wow, you’re breathtaking,’ he couldn’t hold the words in. No picture could ever have prepared him for how he feels seeing you in person. He is awestruck.

He notices you looking at the flowers he’d forgotten he was holding and pushes them out to you, he watches as you take them close and breathe them in. 

‘I love roses,’ you smile and he mentally pats himself on the back.

‘I thought you might!’ He watches as you step back, he looks down at himself as you give him the once over. He follows your hand as you raise it to his chest and run it down the lapel of his jacket.

He’s struck instantly by how good it feels to have you touch him, even like this. His body tenses as he feels himself overcome with nerves.

‘You look amazing,’ you say and he finds it hard find his words. He looks at the floor as if searching for the answer. He tries to shake off his nervousness, he looks up at you.

‘You look perfect, I’m sorry. I’m so nervous!’

‘So am I, we can be nervous together!’ He’s relieved to hear you say this, and some of the tension leaves his body. He can’t quite believe you’re nervous though, you exude confidence and poise.  
It’s a little intimidating.

‘So, the suspense is killing me, what’s the plan?’ You ask.

He smiles and gestures towards his car, ‘Your chariot awaits,’ he opens the passenger side door for you. 

He watches as you settle into the car and hug your roses. Walking around he takes several deep breaths. He can’t decide if he thinks it’s going well... maybe it’s too early to tell.

He gets into the car and smiles at you. He starts to feel a little like this is all a dream. How are you here with him? 

‘All set?’ He says, trying to be light and breezy, like he does this all the time. How are you still here and haven’t run away from his awkwardness?

‘All set,’ he looks at you for a moment longer, he wonders what it would be like to kiss you right now. ‘It’s too soon’ he reasons in his head and he turns the car on. As he does the radio comes on louder than you both expect, you both jump and he scrambles to turn it down. 

‘I’m so sorry I didn’t expect that to happen!’ He runs a hand through his hair. He’d forgotten to turn the radio down before he’d stopped the car. He could kick himself.

‘Someone was taking advantage of having the car to themselves!’ He shrugs at you and you laugh, he realises it’s not at him but at the situation, still he can’t help feeling a little defeated.

He feels his face get hot, ‘I’m so embarrassed!’

He watches you pull out an imaginary notebook and pretend to make a note, ‘Garrett likes to rock out in his car when he’s alone.’ 

He laughs, ‘What you got there?’ He looks over as if trying to see what you’re writing.

‘It’s my notes from this evening, about the real you, I don’t want to miss anything, admittedly I didn’t expect getting to know you would be so loud!’

‘I promise that’s as loud as it gets,’ he relaxes, you always seem to be able to make the situation feel better. He feels safe with you, not judged. 

‘Noted,’ He winks at you sensing that was a loaded statement and laughs before he sets off.

He can’t keep his eyes off you, you’re looking out of the window so he takes the opportunity to look at you when he can. The way your face looks when you don’t know you’re being watched. The absent minded way you smile to yourself.

The radio is on low but he starts to hear a familiar melody, he turns it up slightly and he nods his head to the beat and smiles.

‘Oasis fan, noted,’ he looks at you sideways, ‘I’m more into Blur but you know if that’s your thing.’ He watches you shrug, he can tell you’re teasing him by the smile on your face.

‘Is this going to be our first fight? A Britpop battle?’ He loves this, it feels like familiar ground.

‘Tell me one Oasis song better than Song 2?’ He immediately knows what to say, he starts but you hold up your hand to stop him, ‘You can’t say Wonderwall!’ he clasps a hand to his chest.

He feigns a look of deep contemplation and says, ‘Champagne Supernova,’ he looks at you sideways whilst watching the road. 

‘Hmmmm....’ you reply noncommittally and look out the window again.

He nudges you, ‘Was that an acceptable answer?’ 

‘I will allow it,’ you both laugh, a little less tense than before.

‘So.... can you play Wonderwall on the guitar?’ You ask and he sees you bite your bottom lip. He’d learned to play a couple of things on the guitar as a teenager for the same reason anyone does a lot of things as a teenager. 

To impress others, especially those he was attracted to. He couldn’t pull off the self confident football player thing so he’d tried the sensitive musician route.

He allows a slow smile to spread across his face. 

You turn your body to face him, ‘Please say that’s a yes!’

He slows to a stop and turns the car off, and turns to you, ‘My answer depends on whether or not you would find that impressive?’ He looks you up and down with all the confidence he can muster.

‘I find a lot of things about you impressive,’ butterflies reach his stomach as you blush and hide your face.

‘Well then, yes I can,’ he says while undoing his seatbelt and opening his door. ‘We’re here!’

He waits for you to join him on the pavement. He watches as you look up at the building in front of you with recognition.

‘This is where you work?’ You ask and he nods slightly to confirm.

‘Well. I thought if you want to know me then you have to understand why I love what I do!’ He searches your face for your reaction. 

‘I can’t wait!’ You smile and he gestures toward a side door and lets himself in with his keys, he holds the door open for you and you slip inside. 

It’s darker than he thought it would be, he notices you are standing close and tries to think of something reassuring to say when you notice the trail of petals on the floor leading through the dark hall. 

‘To a dark room with a stranger a bit murdery,’ he recalls Emma saying. He rolls his eyes. ‘Work with what you’ve got,’ he tells himself.

‘Oh, they’re always there,’ he grins and leads you into the dark.

‘You really have thought of everything!’ He turns back to you with a smile. 

‘I wanted to impress you,’ he says as you move into a darker section of the hall. He can’t quite place you. You’re not as close to him as you were, ‘Are you ok?’ 

‘Erm... I think so!’ 

He waves into the dark, ‘It’s just over here!’ He sees the shape of you moving in the darkness carefully towards him.

As you step into the warehouse space he watches proudly as you take it all in. You hold eye contact for a while, he doesn’t feel uncomfortable here in his space. He’s confident and at home.

He smiles as you cover your face and spin on the spot, he enjoys the affect he has on you.

‘This is amazing.... all the important precious things stored here!’

‘I was hoping you’d say that, I have something I want to show you!’ He holds his hand out for you to take. You place your hand in his and you lace your fingers together. 

He realises this is the first time he has touched you and his heart skips a beat. 

He leads you over to a crate from which he retrieves an ancient scroll, he carefully rolls it out and lays it in front of you, he steps back and gestures for you to look.

‘Voiles,’ he looks at you to gauge your reaction as you move toward it.

‘Is this where I read something aloud and my soul is sucked into the netherworld?’ He notices your hands by your side, as if you’re not sure what to do next. He moves behind you and brushes the tips of his fingers on the backs of your hands. He laughs, ‘No,’ he whispers.

‘You’re the first person outside of me and the museum director to see this in over 2000 years.’

He looks over your shoulder, suddenly aware of how close he is to you, he fixes his gaze on the scroll. You turn your head to look at him, ‘And you chose to show it to me?’ He feels your breath on his cheek.

‘Cool huh?’ He says quickly, noticing how close your faces are. Close enough that he could kiss you. He turns backs to the scroll and swallows hard

‘It’s amazing, do you know what’s written in it?’

He wants to wrap his arms round you, to hold you close to him. To kiss your neck, for you to tilt your head back and kiss him, he puts his hands on your hips to work up the courage, ‘A Greek myth totally unknown for thousands of years! We’re still deciphering it but when we do, you’ll be the first to know!’ 

You look down, he thinks you are looking at his hands on his hips and he wonders if he’s gone to far, ‘Thank you, I’d love that!’

He pulls his hands away as he continues, ‘I used to show these discoveries to...’ he cuts himself off. 

Why did he start to say that. His head is suddenly a jumble. He turns away from you, ‘this was a mistake I’ve messed this up’ he thinks as he walks over to the wine he had bought. If he can distract himself he can get his thoughts straight.

‘I bought some wine!’ He tries to say brightly and starts to fumble with the bottle cursing himself. ‘What an idiot’ he chastises himself, ‘bring your wife up in the middle of a date.’ He doesn’t register what you are doing as his finally gets the corkscrew lined up correctly with the top of the bottle.

‘Would you like some help with this?’ he looks up to notice that you have laid out the blanket and are asking about the picnic you’d prepared.

He can’t work out if the look in your eyes is reassurance or pity. He was used to the pity look. He didn’t want you to look at him that way and now he’d made it happen.

‘No, no, just make yourself comfortable,’ he smiles as he works to open the bottle.

He watches you sit out of the corner of his eye, you don’t look awkward or uncomfortable. It’s almost as if nothing had happened. Still unsure he pours the wine and sits a little distance from you and starts to lay out some of the food.

He tries to remain fixed on his task when he feels your hand on his arm.

‘Hey,’ you say softly and he looks up at you. He watches you lift your hand to his face and closes his eyes as you stroke his cheek with your thumb. He feels tears well so he keeps them closed, ‘I’m having a great time.’

He puts his hand on top of yours and lifts it away, he turns and kisses your palm, ‘I just really wanted to impress you.’

He laces his fingers with yours. ‘You have. You do.’ 

‘Ok,’ he smiles, he’s not convinced. He can’t get out of the funk he’s got into. He returns to the food.

‘While you’re doing that shall I find some music to play?’ He unlocks his phone and passes it to you.

‘The connection is terrible down here, I’m on the WiFi.’

‘Maybe something classical, it will fit with the surroundings?’ He looks up and smiles in acknowledgement.

He almost has things perfect when he hears a familiar song that doesn’t sound classical at all, ‘You didn’t!’ He laughs. He walks on his knees toward you, pulls you into his lap and cuddles you.

‘Mind the wine!’ You shout but he’s lost in the moment, both of you laughing, he hasn’t really registered how impulsive he has been.

‘I can’t believe you played Wonderwall, I suppose you think you’re funny don’t you!’ He tickles your back lightly.

You stick out your tongue at him and pass him his glass of wine , ‘Eye contact for cheers otherwise it’s 7 years bad sex,’ his eyebrows shoot up in surprise.

‘Did you make that up?’ He laughs.

‘Are you willing to take the chance?’ He cheers his glass to yours maintaining eye contact.

‘You know your wine,’ you say after your first sip and he squeezes you a little tighter, proud of his choice.

‘Try the cheese,’ he offers you a piece, and watches as you moan at the taste.

‘They go really well together, excellent choice,’ he feels himself relax and you relax into him. The air feels loaded.

‘I don’t think they’re the only ones,’ he smiles and presses his lips to your shoulder. ‘I haven’t seen you make any notes,’ he teases.

You tap the side of your head, ‘It’s all up here,’ he watches your expression change, ‘hey, I know I joke a lot but, I’m totally serious about this.’

‘Me too.’ He notices your eyes flicker to his lips and he does the same before meeting your eye again. He can feel the air shift, everything melts away. This is the moment. He knows you can feel it too as you shift in his lap to face him. 

You tilt your face to his as he moves closer, his nose brushes yours and he can almost feel electricity jump from your lips.

Suddenly everything feels too loud, too hot, a voice in his head shouts for him to stop. A knot of guilt forms in his stomach and he can feel his heart pounding in his chest. It’s as if he has hit a wall and can go no further.

He lets out a frustrated groan and rests his forehead against yours. Blood rushes in his ears, inside he is screaming at himself to try again but he can’t move. 

He feels your hands press on his chest, and he starts to calm at your touch. You stay like that for a moment until he feels like he can move again, he pulls away and runs a hand through his hair. 

He feels vulnerable and exposed. You pass him his glass of wine, he takes a shaky sip and gives you a weak smile. 

Your eyes search his, he knows you’re checking to see if he’s ok, he nods.

‘I didn’t even ask how your day was?’ You offer him another piece of cheese, he shakes his head, ‘oh! And what does Amy make of all this? Have you told her?’

He is so pleased that you’ve mentioned her, ‘Oh! She doesn’t believe you’re real,’ he laughs, ‘I explained to her that I’d made a friend I really like and we were meeting for the first time and she thinks I’ve made you up. Like an imaginary friend.’

‘She is sort of right I suppose, meeting people online is a funny concept really. People don’t always feel real until you meet them.’ He feels better seeing you smile, that the moment has passed and you haven’t run away.

‘Would you like to see a picture of her?’ He isn’t sure whether to bring it up, should they talk about what happened?

‘Of course!’ Garretts smile grows. He opens his photo gallery and swipes through a couple of photos. Her with an achievement certificate from school, her practising her dance for the recital. A selfie she had taken of them both.

He loves each and every picture. Even those where she’s blurry or not looking at the camera, each picture brings him back to a time and place.

You rest your head on his shoulder. ‘Too much?’ He stops. He could talk about Amy all day. 

‘Not at all!’ You lift your head to smile at him. ‘We should take a picture together, to show Amy I’m real!’

‘Ok!’ He puts an arm around you and smiles at the camera. ‘That should do it,’ he looks at the picture for a moment, it’s the first picture of you together, ‘the first’ he repeats. 

‘I should probably get you home, it’s getting late,’ he stands and offers you his hand, helping you up.

He starts to gather up his things. You hand him the folded blanket, ‘You didn’t have to do that.’

‘Team work makes the dream work! What about those?’ 

He looks over at the petals on the floor, ‘Don’t worry, I’ve arranged something, I know someone who works here you see,’ he taps his nose.

‘Power and influence huh? Impressive,’ he holds his arm out for you to link yours with.

‘Oh yes, his names Terry he’s the warehouse supervisor, I slipped him a tenner and told him not to ask any questions,’ you both laugh and start walking to the exit.

‘Like a fixah!’ 

Garrett laughs loudly, ‘Don’t ask questions right?’ He points at you with a grin.

‘You never struck me as someone with underworld connections.’

‘Hardly! I really just asked him nicely if he wouldn’t mind.....’ he catches your eye and double over laughing.

Once you are outside Garrett locks up and you walk back to the car. He’s disappointed the evening is coming to an end, as he puts the blanket and what remains of the picnic into the boot of the car he decided he has to make his intentions clear.

He needs you to know how he feels, as you start to get into your seat he clears his throat and touches your arm.

‘Hey,’ he says quietly, you stand up out of the car again, ‘just before we drive away and the evening ends. I just want to, say it as I couldn’t show it,’ he shrugs, ‘I really like you.’

‘I really like you too. This was your first, first date in a long time. That’s a big deal!’

He looks at the floor before shyly looking up at you again.

‘I had an amazing time. I would like to see you again, if you’d like that too?’ 

He feels relieved and excited, he can’t find the words so he smiles and nods.

‘You ready to go?’ You ask.

‘Ready steady,’ he says and taps the car door.

The drive back is quiet, you hold hands the whole way. It feels like there is a lot to say but neither of you say it.

When he stops the car he feels a wash of sadness that the evening is over. He squeezes your hand and you look at each other for a long moment. 

‘I don’t want you to go.’

‘That’s a good sign,’ you say quietly, ‘but you should get home.’

He nods, ‘Speak to you tomorrow?’ 

‘Of course.’ He watches you get out of the car and walk to your door. You turn to wave and he waits until he can see you’re safely inside before driving away. 

As he drives he thinks over the evening, he’s amazed that even at the end you wanted to be there for him, see him again even! 

That you were calm and supportive when he felt things were out of control. You made him feel like himself again, the flirty, spontaneous Garrett he’d put into a box and filed away. 

He’d been waiting to see if his emotions got the better of him, and in the moment he’d been overwhelmed by guilt. It felt as though what he was doing was wrong - that he was cheating. He’d never thought he’d kiss another person.

He thought he was ready, he felt he was ready and hoped you weren’t disappointed. There would be another chance and he really hoped that this is just the beginning of something special.


End file.
